live love, love life

2005-08-26T22:41:00.000+08:00

promise tlga. di ko nato i-uupdate.

go here. brijybaby.multiply.com. or http://www.livejournal.com/users/brijybaby28/

"agra"-nism

2005-08-14T12:56:00.000+08:00

"ERG night and sleepover at tina's.this is gonna be a blogworthy weekend.", ayrie said.

and so it was.

camille,presh and ayrie dropped by the dorm to make ayos. hahaha.. ayrie, kwento ng kwento ng kwento about boyfriend. she kept on making kwento until she realized na sha nalang pala ang hindi pa made up. (:we finished at 8. buti nalang the party started late, too.

galing ng ERG execom.. /*woooh!*/ ERG night was a success. in fairness, many old members came. they outnumbered us ata. or mebbe not.everyone was hot. grabe. as in, beautiful. ERG band. yeah,baby! kuya emong, galing2. kuya caloyski, parang ginagawa lang finger exerciser ung keyboard. (: ang saya.

we left at eleven. off we went to the mantaring mansion/*btw,thanks, tina, for adopting two little rascals for a night*/ as ayrie would like to put it. syempre, we didnt sleep right away. we looked at some of the photos of the geek-bot-nerd-bookworm-math whiz-humanoid-android tina, and we laughed our heads off for a good 10 minutes. they were THAT incriminating. /*the F.O. shot was hot, though.*/ then, we attempted to make ayrie squeal about her dirty lil secrets. /*opera-type voice: where have you been? how far have you gone?*/ corny ni ayrie. ayaw magkwento. hahaha. (: i think i dozed off at around 2, and had another weird dream, and it was so horrifying(was it?) that i swear i wont ever again think of high school and happy lesbo day before i go to sleep...

(presh and i were walking sa EEE parking lot)
(presh suddenly stops)
PRESH: brij, agra na ako.
BRIJ: what? anong agra?
PRESH: im beginning to like girls.
BRIJ:/*wide-eyed and surprised*/ WHAT?

then presh makes kwento about a girl named josie whom she met at YM. then, this girl daw was making all the moves and everything. when we were about to cross the street, tina, ayrie,karen dogillo, and a bunch of other girls, started coming out from the bushes and the trees, telling presh na agra na rin sila. and then, we/*yeah, after a few minutes or so, i was agra-fied as well*/ started liking each other. ayrie likes tina, and tina likes me, and i like tina, and karen likes me, and karen likes presh, presh of course is crazy for the imaginary "josie", all that jazz. it was like everybody was agra-fied. it was like an epidemic outbreak of some sort. a nightmare.

buhay pa ko../*kisses the floor*/

im alive. still alive./*raises hands to heaven*/

p.s. id rather not blog about my e.s. exam. depressing.

blogworthy weekend. blogworthy is a major understatement.

genius...hotness!

2005-08-06T21:43:00.000+08:00

i just found out that shaira luna(the fat promil kid) did not become a scientist after all. it just goes to show that, sometimes, people do not choose the road where they'd do well, but rather the path where they'd be happy.
yeah, okay.
i laughed my heart out kanina sa sabayan practice. although it was frustrating that the kids can't follow what we were teaching, it was just a funny sight. some of the bigkasers' faces were so devoid of emotion that it was funny already. /*chai lee.wahaha*/ im such a meanie.
went out with jean and kat today. yada, laugh trip again. nonstop. we talked about jean's up-and-coming(weell, november pa naman) 18th bday party. it was a cool idea, i must say, that she's gonna have it in a firing range. talk about literally being trigger happy for a night.
im loaded with paperwork again. geez, i havent even studied in geog yet. then, there's still these 2 e.s. plates. then, the ERGanizer. then, the articles for ERGlink. then, the m.e. to be passed on friday. oh man.
ERG night on Saturday. i have no problem going there. i just don't know where id spend the night, just in case the party ends really really late and it's unsafe to go home alone. is there somebody out there willing to adopt me for one night? please? tag me.
"hanging by a thread. just one more push,and id fall."

pag di ka nagugulaman,dapat di ka din nagpi2sbol

2005-08-05T21:38:00.000+08:00

"oooooh, baby,baby it's a wild world."
i ran my m.p. just a while ago. and to my surprise /man,oh,man/, the decryption ignores the limit snippet i made.
damn. and then i ran out of time to change it. double damn.
and i got a 32.25% in my e.s. exam. triple damn.
phooey. but then again, i still did the major part. i just forgot some of the minor specs.
argh, will somebody kick my butt if i lose my m.p.2 specs. i always lose my specs. i dont know why.
i hate the rain. when it rains, all the usually empty ikot jeeps brim with passengers. out of 10++ jeeps that passed us by, only one had vacant seats; only 2 vacant seats at that. well, at least tina and ayrie got on. definitely better than the four of us getting wet in the rain. i waited for a little while, but i got impatient. so, i walked my way to engg, endured the rain and the itchy leaves sticking to my legs, only to get my plates(the prof dismissed us at 235) and my dismal e.s. exam. /*loser*/
i cant understand this multiple source files shit. shucks, my brain cells are dead. nothing makes sense here anymore. im losing all this makefile lecture. gaah, so unproductive. not good. so not good.
anyway, i tried to donate blood yesterday. yeah, for the love of preshy, i did. all for a tumbler which claims to be an "outer space" no-leak cup. i got "needled" twice: on my arm, and then on my hand. i got myself 2 little bruises /*in dzhot's terms, two ruptures in my microveins*/ all for nothing. sadness. i was as depressed as a bankrupt business tycoon.
the only equalizer to a rather bad day was julie and the pisbol gang. hahaha. dr. jones, eh? laugh trip. ganon pala un. pag di ka umiinom ng gulaman, katakataka pag kumakain ng pisbol. /*laugh,laugh,laugh*/ julie, ure the best. nabuga ko ung gulaman ko kakatawa. (^_^)v
argh, l.s.s. ko na ung "ooooh, baby,baby it's a wild world." every time we sang that line kanina sa tambayan, it rained oh so heavily, as if the heavens were protesting(it was tina who sang it first..so, not my fault. haha).and now, it's stuck in my head.
"i'll always remember you like a child, girl"

2005-07-17T20:44:00.000+08:00

ayoko na sa blogspot.

ang hirap i-update. saka nalang ulit.

go visit

www.livejournal.com/users/brijybaby28 or brijybaby.multiply.com

peace, blogspotters.
im out.

2005-07-17T20:40:00.000+08:00

i feel bad tlga na i did not finish the e.s. exam.

i mean, hellur, second take ko na e..

dapat di ba i should know na wat to do...

on the bright side, nasagutan ko 75% wen dati wala akong natapos ni isa.

i predict a 55% grade. 300% better than my 17% output.

but i still feel bad.

haynako, si julie at kuya raf. pinagkaisahan ako. paniwalain ba daw akong kina julie ung julie's bakeshop. e syempre, si julie un e. di naman mukang manlo2ko. buti nalang diko pa naipagkakalat. nako tlga. haynako.. hahahha...reresbak ako hahaha.. so be prepared with my revelation.

tugoosh. watever.now, mike is in on my secret. the radius of blame is getting bigger. uhh, i know my secret's safe with presh. keya pag kumalat un sa sangkaEEEhan, i know who squealed. (:

why am i so stressed about all this? ann says i should just let it burn. yeah, and id burn too..burn to ashes. yeah, dats nice.

markado.

2005-07-16T19:06:00.000+08:00

nakoo, nakoo.. gumagaya pa sakin e.
maging responsable at magalang na app ka.
ikw din. bahala ka.

just ate my first meal of the day. i didnt even mind that i was eating leftovers. i was just so hungry that every morsel was a welcome treat. oh man, badtrip. ung e.s.1. alas 830 nagstart. so how about? syempre diko natapos. 3/4 plates lang nagawa ko.

math 55 and eee11 exams were okay naman. math55. hohum.lemme say, la2gpas naman siguro ako sa kalahati. eee11, madali lang. except for this create-a-program-fragment that just consumed all my brain cells, or shall i say, all that was left of them. ( :

di ako nakaatend ng reco. dadaanan kasi ni kuya raf iyong mga bakal e. e super urgent na un.kea un. kasabay ko sina mon, ayrie at kuya chenney at carl pauwe.ang ginaw sa m.r.t. pero ayun, andito nako sa house.inaantay magtext si kuya. haynakupo.. erg 70 opening na pala on monday. yeheeeeeey!!!!!!!! ERG month na. hehhee.. wala lang.

kainis. diko na matuloy ung blind items. kasi naman e.. naputol pa kahapon.

ansaya pala ng MP namin. encryption and decryption of morse code. wala nang year%400==0! hahhaa.. stupidity tlga un.

di ko na alam sasabihin ko. (: hahaha...correction: Di ko na alam kung ano pa ang sasabihin ko. ayon nga ke presh, "meron ka bang sasabihin na hindi about...?"
screw you presh...( :
you are so right every single time.

"The prophet is here. The kingdom is near."

SIGNS OF THE APOCALYPSE:
10. frequent earthquakes and thunderstorms
9. famine and drought
8. a hundred epidemic outbreaks
7. buffet at Dad's is for free (yehey)
6. wen mass graves would fill our empty lands. (nyaks!)
5. pag love na ko ni crushie.
4. pag sumabog na ang sun.
3. pag napuno ng tubig ang kamunduhan
2. pag natuyot ang mga lupa

at ang pinakahuli at pinakamabisang batayan....

1. pag si tina o kaya si kuya geoff na ang nagta2nong kay presh sa mga sagot sa EEE stuff.

un, mangumpisal na kayo. (: end of the world na.
hehehe...labyu preshie..(:
screw you. you have a picture with reema..

2005-07-15T16:53:00.000+08:00

(intrapersonally communicating right now)
brijybrain: WTF, brij? Kelan pa naging divisible by 400 ang LEAP YEAR?
brijy: hahahhaa..onga, four lang pala.
(intrapersonal communication over)

hokay..at 330 ata my day-counting program was finished na. no errors. nada. pero it wasnt returning any results. it was only after an hour that i realized na i divided the year by 400, instead of 4. what's up with that?

BLIND ITEMS:

1.sino itich? ekalal. isang bagong salpak sa kapisanan ng mga cute sa EEE, na pawang naghahangad ng napakataas na katungkulan at umaastang parang awtoridad kahit bugito at mukhang totoy na totoy ang batang ito. may teorya ako kung bakit ang kata-katawan niya ay ang kata-katawan niya. SINO ITICH?

2. sino itich? ekalal din! anak ng may katungkulan, na tila nagkakalat na itong isang org ay "for bakladitorians only". ulo ng mga ulo, napakasaya rin ng tinitirhan nila. ngunit, mahinhin ang hayskul niya. naiisyu sa isang eabab pero, kung ako ang tatanungin, walang pag-asa hanggat hindi niya pinapaliit ang ulo niya. SINO ITICH?

mamaya nalang ung iba.

my brain is a mess

2005-07-10T20:52:00.000+08:00

man, oh man... my brain is just split right through.

there's this math assignment i cant figure out (series expansion is crap!). i havent started my eee11 review. im still trying to make ayos my time sked for saturday: how im going to get to my 9-12 e.s. exam while sitting comfortably at 10-1130 for my math, and get my ass to eee for my eee11 exam. i still dont have my allowance for the week, and im lucky if i would be given the whole 1000 pesos. (i lived through 750 last week. 750 minus 120 for the CWTS and mem fee. 630 minus,say, 150 for the 30 pesos a day transpo. dats 480 for 3 meals a day.)

not to mention, i cant get crushie outta my head.crushie wen i wake up, crushie wen i eat lunch, crushie wen i take a bath, crushie wen i play p.s.2, crushie wen i watch t.v., crushie wen i read, crushie wen im online, crushie wen i sleep, crushie in my dreams...

gee whiz..enuf already!!!!!

another week lies ahead. will dzhot and i make bati na?

stay tuned.. *wink*

2005-07-10T11:45:00.000+08:00

dun sa inatendan kong gathering kagabi. kakaiba..it was a birthday party. but, the first hour and a half were spent on worship, singing and prayer.
astig tlga. YFC away from YFC.

not to mention, there was this really2 cute Mediterranean(i forgot the spelling)-looking guy(i love Mediterranean boys. they have these deepset eyes that just melt you to the bone marrow.) as in hot to the nth power ito. and he had this Jude Law-ish accent kasi he has spent all his life in England. too bad, he was sum 2nd degree cousin.

but, it was fun. the food was great. i wish i cud have a birthday like that. when id live to see my great-grandchildren. oh man. it was a tearjerker. there were 9 children, 3 who took the effort to go home just for the family to be complete..

and, did i say there was this really2 hot mediterranean JudeLaw-accent guy..?

ho-hum..it's such a pain to update three blogs..

hang it

2005-07-08T20:00:00.001+08:00

in spite of everything, i slept well last night. i dreamt of good stuff pa nga e.

pero nakakabadtrip tlga.

i even had to buy a cup of caramel sundae to relieve the stress.

i cudnt say this to you last night, for fear na i might physically hurt you. (shove you or pull your hair or sumthng like that)

so here it is..

nkakabadtrip ka kagabi. hindi ko alam kung anong problema mo. for the record, i did walk out. but i didnt walk out to make a scene. i walked out kasi i had nothing to do there. ayaw mo ko paghugasin ng dishes(again, i dont know why), so i put down the sponge to let you take over, and i went away, figuring na two persons are enough to finish the chore.

and so i never really minded it. i wasnt mad at you, nor was i harboring any tampururot(ekai's term). and it really surprised me that you blabbed on about how i acted. and so i explained. explained. explained.

but, i was cut short at the word "bastos."

after that, i did not know what to say.i was surprised. more importantly, i was hurt. yes, we have fought in the past pero we never used such words on each other.

so in spite of what i was feeling, i didnt wnt to make matters worse, so i just shut up.

hoping you'd shut up too..

but no, you didnt.
you still went on, ranting about how you dont perceive my "walking out" like i did. na hindi ganon ung dating sayo.

e what can i do? i cant just do things according to your idea of what's right, can i?

oh yeah, had the quarrel continued, you wouldve said these lines:
1. "joke lang kasi un e..napipikon ka"- it was a bad joke. pati ba naman paghu2gas ng plato, hindi ako "marunong" para sayo?
2."pinagsasabihan ka na nga..ikaw pang galit."-naknangbeybe... wats wrong with my dishwashing. is there an ISO-certified standard procedure for dishwashing?

sorry a...pati pala paghugas ng plato...kelangan uno effort.

i love you dzhot..but sometimes, you can be such a jerk.

hang it

2005-07-08T20:00:00.000+08:00

in spite of everything, i slept well last night. i dreamt of good stuff pa nga e.
pero nakakabadtrip tlga.
i even had to buy a cup of caramel sundae to relieve the stress.

i cudnt say this to you last night, for fear na i might physically hurt you. (shove you or pull your hair or sumthng like that)

so here it is..

nkakabadtrip ka kagabi. hindi ko alam kung anong problema mo. for the record, i did walk out. but i didnt walk out to make a scene. i walked out kasi i had nothing to do there. ayaw mo ko paghugasin ng dishes(again, i dont know why), so i put down the sponge to let you take over, and i went away, figuring na two persons are enough to finish the chore.

and so i never really minded it. i wasnt mad at you, nor was i harboring any tampururot(ekai's term). and it really surprised me that you blabbed on about how i acted. and so i explained. explained. explained.

but, i was cut short at the word "bastos."

after that, i did not know what to say.i was surprised. more importantly, i was hurt. yes, we have fought in the past pero we never used such words on each other.

so in spite of what i was feeling, i didnt wnt to make matters worse, so i just shut up.
hoping you'd shut up too..

but no, you didnt.
you still went on, ranting about how you dont perceive my "walking out" like i did. na hindi ganon ung dating sayo.

e what can i do? i cant just do things according to your idea of what's right, can i?

oh yeah, had the quarrel continued, you wouldve said these lines:
1. "joke lang kasi un e..napipikon ka"- it was a bad joke. pati ba naman paghu2gas ng plato, hindi ako "marunong" para sayo?
2."pinagsasabihan ka na nga..ikaw pang galit."-naknangbeybe... wats wrong with my dishwashing. is there an ISO-certified standard procedure for dishwashing?

sorry a...pati pala paghugas ng plato...kelangan uno effort.

i love you dzhot..but sometimes, you can be such a jerk.

CWTS practicals

2005-07-06T19:48:00.000+08:00

yeahba! it was oh sofun.i had a few blunders but it went out okay naman.

iv been feeling really sick these past few days. i had lagnat last night.(presh has a fancy reason for that,and suggested an even fancier gamot for me to take).sorry presh,cant afford the parablah-balahmol thingy.*wink*nd i cant shout because my throat is sore. and i keepon sniffing like a dog.

i hate getting sick. i get these 5-second deliryos of a specific person or thing. you bet i had one yesterday. it just kept on replaying over and over. and i had to smile every time,and i did anything to shut it out but there it was,still in my head. crushie moment.

promise tlga, if i cudve melted in the rain sa sobrang ligalig, i would hve been lava by now.

ewan..brij,nagsi2mula nanaman tayo sa buhay natin e..

yuck to me tlga.

damn you, woman! 33!

2005-07-02T15:14:00.000+08:00

argh, i hate 33. screw 33. y does it hafta be so damn challenging.

*breathe*breathe*breathe*wala man lang consolation prize. pagdating ko don, ni wala man lang magandang tao ang bumati sa akin. nyahaha. badtrip to the nth limit ito. hay e ano naman magagawa natin e, sadyang limitado lang ang brain cells natin tsong.

eee11 kahapon. ang kulit nung system. ayaw niyang tanggapin ung mga password ko. ayaw niya ng xxviii, ni english na pangalan ayaw niya. ayan tuloy, i was forced to use an 8-letter password na pag nalaman ni presh, tiyak, isanglibong yuck-to-you ang aabutin ko. hay mejo ang daldal ko no. at parang hindi ako nageenglish ngayon. type.type.type.

ayun, going back to 33. walang kwenta.15 pages ung alloted na space for the answer sheet. tapos siguro mga 8 lang nagamit ko. with minimal important stuff, and maximal(uhh, is there such a word? i dont know) erasures. yeahba! made me wish i had watched the freshteeg concert nalang instead of alloting a good 6 hours to study.

pero mahirap tlga sha. di nga natapos ni tina,e.

so, mahirap tlga sha.

( :nyahaha,may bago kaming motto ni presh. "pag exam, si tina ang batayan." ( :

shout-outs:gago ka presh! nagpapaasa ka nanaman ng boyps. kawawa naman si raul.

pinapapaasa mo nanaman.

jeanybops, have ur kalmots healed na? i hope so.

ann, mag IE CLub ka na.tas sabay shift sa IE.

ayrie, im happy for you. sobrang ear-wide-smile happiness.

2005-06-26T17:23:00.000+08:00

i invited some people for lunch yesterday.

yeah, some of them didnt come. hmrm,y am i not surprised? it was good to have them here. hehhee.. we watchd our grade school and high school grad. and we almost worn our jaws out laughing(guffawing, if i need to be specific). we just looked so nerdy back then. we were fat and we had fancy hair.

back to school tomorrow. back to near-infinite circuits, staring at the projector and not understanding a damn thing. yeahba!

i hate 33. it's so hard! circuitry at its worst. circuit analysis just makes my head ache. argh.
lovelife? hmrm..not much. actually, none at all. i gave them up. every single one of them. la lang. im just tinatamad to think of sumbody, worry about somebody,text sumbody, all that jazz.

loserness tlga. nyahaha..

hapy birthday to me

2005-06-24T20:52:00.000+08:00

REASONS MY BIRTHDAY WAS HAPPY:

nilibre ako ni ekai at dzhot kaya masaya ko...pesto and my own lil choc cake.
everybody greeted me.. ung iba nga tinawagan pa ko.
katouch ung mga letters ng dormates ko
may 4 akong suklay at isang set ng pantali sa buhok
binati ako ng mga crush ko.
pu2nta sila dito sa bahay tomorrow. yehey.

natupad ba ang wish list ko? hmrm, c ayrie lang ata nakatupad nung 1. may book daw siya for me. hooray. im a feeling a lil bit better everyday. di nako naku2nsumi ng mga critters sa tiyan ko.

hay, okay. no chuba. official. no chuba, for now.

i dont know. one of those days na i just raise my hands in surrender. ewan, baka bukas magbago.

ang gaganda niyo!grabe!

2005-06-17T20:00:00.000+08:00

alam niyo, im not taking sides or anything a.

pero, nakakalungkot kayong dalawa. kala ko pa naman u guys are nearperfect. kala ko ur wisdom and emotional tolerance are way beyond your age. hindi pala. nabasa ko ung stuff. and you acted like 7-year-old brats. AND TO THINK I LOOK UP TO YOU TWO! ikaw ice, alam mo nang galit ka, online ka pa magpopost. privacy hanap mo, edi sa phone ka makiapgusap. sigaw ka sa banyo kung gusto mo. ikaw naman trish, alam mo rin namang simpula na ng coke in can ang ulo ni ice, lalo mo pang ginalit..

imbis na pag-usapan niyo ng mabuti, nagsisitahan pa kayo kung sino ang may mas magaling na grammar. kung grammar lang din naman ang pag-uusapan niyo edi magturuan nalang tayo ng subject-verb agreement at kung pano maglagay ng -d or -ed sa isang verb or noun para maging adjective.

pinapalala niyo amoebiasis ko.

ewan ko senyo..nakakaiyak kayo! mahal ko p naman kayong dalawa...

naaawa ako ke lanjae, sa totoo lang. feeling niya tuloy fault niya ang lahat. feeling niya tuloy nagkulang siya as a leader,wen in fact, hindi naman. oo nga, leader natin si lanj. pero tayo ang responsible for our own acts. she's merely our guide, not our savior.

magbati na kayo. its so much easier to forgive and forget.

sick to the stomach

2005-06-17T18:53:00.000+08:00

i dont know if its the water from the faucet, manong's fishballs or the isaw i ate. pero for three days now, iv been pooping nothing but water. and my stomach just hurts like hell.

thursday: i came late for my 7 a.m. comm3 class. i was pretty early for a latecomer, arriving at 720. i asked the prof, "sir, is this comm3?". he didnt answer. so, i assumed everything was okay. so i went up and looked for a seat. my dear lolo prof even told the students not to mind me. but, when i was about to get seated, he suddenly blew his top off and screamed, "will you KINDLY step out?". tsk, he cudve just omitted the KINDLY adverb. he didnt mean it anyway. so i stepped out, and they closed the door on me. yehey.

friday: retake day. ugh... ms. rachel was a revelation. she teaches good in Lab. i dont know. we went through every command. unlike in my first take, it was like, we're gonna try this command and self-study the next. we never skipped a beat this time. she explained each command in detail. and i understood everything, even when i was thinking of crushie all lab period long.

yeah, my tummy still hurts. im feeling sick.

and i feel like a fever's coming through.

mood: tired

Music: Neon-SPongecola

2005-06-15T18:25:00.000+08:00

it was a physically challenging day. i went looking for the Power-up place in Tandang Sora. i got down on the wrong mall, thinking that it was the right mall. so, i walked a long good walk from Ever to Batasan Hills. (one step more and i could have reached the Sandiganbayan). i finally got to Power-up. i had to do push-ups so i did 27. i had to do sit-ups and i managed 15. i had to traverse a wall, with half-inch rocks for leverage, and guess wat? i managed to traverse one wall only to fall at the halfpoint of the next wall. as if that weren't enough, i had to do ten laps of 100 m. walks to determine this pace factor needed for CWTS. yeah, it hasnt gotten any tiring than this. (weeelll, the Indoc comes pretty close.

***************

anghirap tlgang magkacrush sa isang tao, pero ayaw mo. alam mo iyon, crush mo sha pero ayaw mo..kung papipiliin ka, gusto mong burahin siya sa buhay mo. hindi mo alam kung bakit kahit kasinglaki na ng hot-air balloon ang ulo niya, crush mo pa rin. kahit wrong grammar, crush mo pa rin. kahit ayaw niya sayo, crush mo parin. kahit feeling niya alam niya ang lahat ng nararamdaman mo, aba'y akalain mong crush mo pa rin.

gusto mong magalit sa kanya, pero di mo magawa. gusto mong sapak-sapakin siya, pero isang hug lang okay na. gusto mong paputukin iyong labi niya para tumahimik na siya sa walng katapusang hiritan na hindi niya alam ay nakakasakit na. gusto mo siyang sumbatan,saktan, sabunutan kahit kalbo. pero, wala. wala sa puso mong saktan siya.

ayaw mo ng nararamdaman mo. pero di mo magawang magsinungaling. hindi mo masabi sa sarili mo na wala lang siya. dahil, isang malaking katatawanan iyon, dahil alam mo, kahit baligtarin man ang mundo,

mahal mo siya, kahit ayaw mo...

fighting spirit(from karen)

2005-06-13T15:07:00.000+08:00

i choose...

To be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.
To talk of health, happiness and prosperity to every person I meet.
To make all my friends feel that there is something in them.
To look at the funny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best, and expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and to press on to the greaterachievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and to give every livingcreature I meet a smile.
To give as much time to the improvement of myself that I have mo timeto criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

wla lang..nyahaha..may dance contest daw sa freshie night..aba, aba, manu2od ako..nyahaha.. mamya---wala lang. wag nang ituloy baka mabuko pa. ayun, bum na naman..bukas nako papsok kasi parang nakakatamad bumiyahe papuntang dorm ngaun.hay..buhay..

GK build

2005-06-12T20:48:00.000+08:00

happy independence day! ilang taon na nga ba akong malaya?

hmrm...mga tatlong taon na rin pala. loneliness has been a common thing.

GK build. hoo! nagwalis kami sa kaingin. my man, nyahaha. saya magpawis. lunch was grrreat! fiesta ba ito? tahong, inihaw na isda, mangga, ensalada. too bad i ate too much to savor the food. kuya ray kasi, kakaawa. tama ba namang iwanan ng isang bandehado ng pagkain. so i helped him finish it. nyahahaha...

S.E. made me miss the C.D. days. not that there's much to miss. all i cud remember was that big black rat that i would always find scurrying about sa quadrangle nila. syempre, kunwari wala lng wen my knees were shaking like jelly. nyahaha.. saya, telling people God's love is for free.

sigi na, pinipilit e. unforgettable daw tong day na to, sabi ni eizel at anna. dahil share kami ni ice sa isang plato. nahahaha! actually, dis day really is unforgettable. kasi nagpakiss sakin kapatid ko sa peace be with you. *blush* nakoo, andami ko palang di alam. tsk2.. mga hidwaang hindi napapansin ng aking mga mata. well, im right in the middle. im taking no sides on this one. my lips are sealed as well.

naah, katuwa sina eiz at anna, nagaaral mag-gitara. kinda reminded me of me nung "wen u say nothing at all" na ngalang, dispalinghado pa ung tunog. practice lang iyan, mga kaibigan.

rai milkshake: or ur kinda gettin over *toot* na??

icecreampuff77: wats there to get over?

icecreampuff77: nyahahaha

icecreampuff77: never naman kami nagkaron ng thing

sometimes, u really hafta have the guts and the heart to accept things as they are; that not all things are meant for you, no matter how much you want them.

rai milkshake: but you had a thing for *toot*.,.,

rai milkshake: w/c is worse

rai milkshake: nyahaha

icecreampuff77: nyahahha..

icecreampuff77: di naman letting go ang gngawa ko e..i

cecreampuff77: more of keeping *toot* close, pero andon ung acceptance na wala na talagang pagasa

giving up doesnt really mean u hafta withdraw, detach yourself from him, and make yourself feel that you're not worthy of even a micro-ounce of his love. you deserve a lot of his love, but sadly, not the kind of love you're looking for in him.

"spent all your time waiting for that second chance, for a break that would make it all okay... there's always some reason to feel not good enough..."

that's how life works. there always is that person or thing that keeps perfection out of your reach. but if life were perfect, if life weren't full of people who jst downright dont want you, life would be like standing straight: stationary, numbing, painful after long periods.

Music: Stoned In love with you-Stylistics

mood: accomplished.

bum day

2005-06-11T20:13:00.000+08:00

rest day. yeah, yeah.
boring.

i did the usual summer things. i started this boxing career in "fight night", and i totally liked the boxer i created. crush ko na sha. nyahaha. i ate lunch, watched "Van Wilder" which is such a feel-good movie, by the way. i watched some more t.v. while eating pineapple and Magic Flakes. i did not go out today. (yeah!) but...

im gonna go out tomorrow for the GK build. im gonna see my YFc pips agen. hooray! my birthday's like 12 days from now and i still dunno wat to do. should i hold like a dinner party or something? hmrmmm..im kinda short on cash but we'll see, we'll see...

ookay.. ate ivy is leaving on the 15th.sadness... huhuhu...
she's not gonna be there for my birthday..

SPurs fans, congrats! ur last win of the season. celebrate now. argh, naalala ko tuloy si aris. (nalungkot naman ako.) he so loves the Spurs. y did i ever let him go? y? : (

just one more thing: could sports buffs out there tell me why the New York Yankees, the best team in baseball, are on a 7++-game losing streak? its just so not believable.

first week

2005-06-10T17:49:00.000+08:00

bum life extended..

not much brainwork..feeling ko mas napagod pa legs ko kakaasikaso ng prerogs ko sa e.s. at p.e. nyay! yes, nakakuha ko ng e.s. at p.e. Thank GOd. nyehehe..

uyy, 13 days nalang. bday ko na...tama ba un? naah, at dahil jan, gagawa ko ng wishlist hoping na kahit ung iba e matupad naman ng mga taong may mabuting loob..

since 17 na ako, 17 din dapat wishes ko..

white na peasant skirt
racer back tops( many..)
pocketbooks(kahit ano, maski ung mga tigteten pesos na dilaw na ung pages)
MYMP at Nina c.d.
pera(nay!)
lunch or dinner treat sa Tokyo Tokyo(na naman) or Pizza Hut, or, better yet, sa isawan.
flipflops with rockhard soles.
new pair of chucks(the black and orange type)
chocolates
flowers
good health for me and my family
good acad year(di naman parang ke tina hinihingi ko e.. basta pasado lang)
successful evrything for ERG and YFC.
sana maging sobrang good friends kami ni crushie.
longer life (naah)
surprise party for me...

at ang pinakaimposible at pinakaimportanteng wish ko...

17. si chubby...

nay! hahahaha.. wala lang.. o di ba, 17 wishes for 17 years of life? ayun wala lang.. sana matupad iang mga iyan no.. naah, asa pako.. wat am i saying? nonsense naman.. sorry, inlove e..

GK build sa sunday..excited na ko. i miss them already.nyahaha!

tuloy natin.. nag-ruins kasi kami..hehehe.. naah, hinug ako ni crushie sa y.m. jeany, pasimuno ka.. di naman tlga dapat to e.. kaw kasi e, pinaalala mo pa.. nyahahaha! tsk...sayang, hindi ako ung type niya..nyahaha! nay! anu ba? lets not dwell on the topic. it just makes matters worse...

5 seconds thinking...

10 seconds thinking...

30 seconds thinking...

uh-oh, all i cud think about is crushie..bad sign.. bad bad bad sign...

hay,watever...

day of distress

2005-06-06T17:13:00.000+08:00

i woke up late... so i reached peyups at around 945. i finished the enlistment early. but, i forgot my classcards. i wasnt worried at first, becaus the last time i forgot my class cards, my grades were available online. but no, this time around, it wasnt. i dont know. i think tinamad lng mghanap ung adviser. kasi it took him like 2 minutes to say na wala ung grades ko online.i shud go home and get them daw. so, i did wat i ought to do..

PANIC!

i circled the CS lib thinking of wat to do next. i went to EEE, then to ENgg to have this certification of grades thing. just my luck, breaktime, i hafta wait till 130. 130! then the processing would take 5 u.p. minutes, so that's like 60 earth minutes. so i was close to tears, sa A.s. walk. i called my mom out of desperation, and asked her to come get me my classcards.

she agreed, not without shouting at me first. i felt na she was panicking too, because my dad called from home also, kasi after 5 days, nakapoo-poo na xa( nang nakatayo, gross!) and he needed help in the bathroom. take note: my mom was in school, first day pa nila. sobrang i felt guilty kasi it was my stupidity that started all this. at first i thought of not calling my mom, out of shame and guilt. but i realized, shame and guilt wont get things done. nung nakarating si momsy, 130 palang. (such speed!) so i walked like there was no tomorrow and got my business done in an hour.

nakaenroll na din ako sa wakas.

paguwi ko, the usual bat-lagi-kang-may-nakakalimutan sermon from my dad. i felt so helpless, kasi i really dont know why i forget such important things.

my mom was superduper. she has been superduper all my life. naiiyak na sha. napapagod. pero, ginagawa parin niya kahit next to impossible ang situation.(think of 45 minutes of travel from paranaque to u.p. WORLD RECORD UN!) lalo na ngayon my dad's lying in bed all day dhil nagpapagaling. thanks mom. i love my momsy.

so much...

tears

2005-06-05T20:47:00.000+08:00

replied to the first few comments. grabe, sarap palang magsabi ng nice thing sa ibang tao.

weeellll, bashing is still a weee bit better. (evil!)

pero, yeah.its nice to say thanks in a different and ego-boosting way.

hohum,wat to say,wat to say. aalis na si ate ivy sa june 15. *tears* wala nang DVD nights. *tears* wala nang ref runsacking. *tears* wala nang go nuts donuts na christmas edition pa, asa ref pa din. *yehey!* wala nang overnyt. *tears* wala nang manli2bre sa kung san-san.*tears*

wala nang sister ako.*tears*

*tears* i am just so sad.

change topic.

hayun, napanaginipan ko nanaman si ice.(hohum,wats new?) so dat makes it 13 days. 13 consecutive days na andon sha palage. and, deyr so good (the dreams,ha?) that i just wished i were in a coma or something. so that there wud be no bummer body time-to-wake-up calls.imagine nonstop ice-ish dreams. cool...

or NOT! (mood swing..sorry)

hahaha..der is sumthing seriously,seriously wrong with me.

mood: from sad to happy to bitter.

music: you're a god-Vertical horizon

twice ko na nareceive to

2005-06-04T21:23:00.000+08:00

yeah2, let's play dis game here. i wana make your day. (i even bothered to look for a basic blogskin that enables comments)

Comment here with your name and I'll tell you something I adore (or at least mildly like) about you. Afterwards, copy and paste this into your own journal.

ano ba tlga brij!

2005-06-04T14:47:00.000+08:00

tagal kong di nagblog a..

hay..

june 2: astig ng worship. basta.

june 3: 2nd day ng enrolment. kakapagod. i had to do last-minute g.e. enlistment kasi sum1 told me na 3 units ang cwts so i didnt know until late afternoon na underload pala ko. night came and the schizo fits have attacked again. i was mad at someone i really2 loved. ol i cud talk to was jinggay. at sha lang may alam ng mga pinagsasabi ko. (yeah..sounding board ko yan e..) basta, ice said sumthing kasi na rubbed me the wrong way. ewan ko kung biro, half-truth o whole lie ung sinabi niya. pero, tlgang tlga, maling-mali ung dating sakin. den i recalled everything she said in the past, assessed them and, poof!i found myself sobrang unreasonably irritated and mad at her. i dont know if it was because i was supertired or if im overreacting or if it was simply way over the line.

y cant i get rid of my look-for-perfection habit? it seems na i turn away from someone malaman ko lang na may flaw sha na super unbearable. y cant i bear the flaw(s) and imperfection(s) of someone i love?

beats me..

i hate the feeling.i wana hate her pero love ko xa..tlg.
pero tlgang tlga, nakakainis lng ung msg niyang un.

Mood: tired
music: don't care-Spongecola

"you think you're so perfect..like there's nobody out there. well, you don't care. you dont care. you don't care"

the saga continues

2005-05-29T07:29:00.000+08:00

oh, yes. the weird dreams saga continues.

what this time you saY?

basta, si julia clarete daw yaya ng mga pinsan ko. tas tinutukso ko ng mga pinsan k s knya. (nay!). tas daw, nagdrive daw kami to go to church kasama nung sanpits ko na sa totoong buhay e magaabroad. tas ang galing, kung ano ung nararamdaman ko about sa pag-alis niya, iniispell ng mga stars. kaso ako lang nakabasa kasi nagdadrive nga siya.

tas, sa church, everybody was there. almost everybody except that one familiar face im looking forward to see.. (nay! sino kaya un?) si ate teng nandon, si fhatz nakabarong, syempre si julia clarete. eto ang weird e, pati si TOm Cruise andon! ahaha.

here comes the morbid part. bigla akong nagkavision. lahat daw ng mahina ang faith, sasakit ang thigh kasi mamarkahan sila ni Satan. tas may lumabas na bibig na mahaba ang baba tas may patulis na bigote. tas may sinasabi siya. "you are mine" ata or sumthng.

haynako, ang weird tlga..
to be fair naman, its a big break from the same old dream ive been having for days!

no more unlimited

2005-05-26T08:26:00.000+08:00

saya ng walang unlimited..

sabi nga ni kuya marcus, "wala kang no choice!"..

bad side: haay, tutunganga ka lang pag nagbabasa ng messages. ni hindi mo mareplyan ung mga taong nageffort na isali ka sa send-to-many messaging list nila para lang batiin ka ng isang good morning at ipaalala sayo to praise GOd. ni hindi mo man lang sila mabati ng good morning. nakakalungkot. wala ka nang mapagsabihan kapag pu2tok na puso mo. hindi mo na mate2xt sina anna o kaya si jinggay (naks, special mention) kapag may kwento ka tungkol sa chuva... di mo xa natetext kaya araw-araw mo nanaman xang napapanaginipan, kaya ayaw mo ng magising, kaya sa sobrang pinipilit mo na matulog, nahi2lo ka na sa init pag napagpasyahan mong bumalik sa totoong mundo, sa mundo na hindi ka niya gusto, at never ka niya magugustuhan...

good side: well, at least dahil nga wala ka nang nochoice, tu2ngangaan mo nlng mga messages niya(kung magtetext siya). dati, kahit ano itext niya magrereply ka, kahit quote na narinig mo na ng sanlibong beses. ngayon, napi2litan kang hindi xa itext ng 5 times a day. ngayon tuloy, hindi ka na nagmu2kang diehard fan. kahit deep insyd, diehard fan ka niya.

pati sa panaginip ko, nandon ka..
oy, timeperst naman.
pagod nakong isipin ka.

nay, ano ba to?
can this be love...

bangag

2005-05-23T20:33:00.000+08:00

dapat tlga hindi mo sha iniisip kapag nagtetest.

para kasing mawawala ka nalang bigla sa sarili mo. sagot ka lang ng sagot. sulat ng sulat ng mga numero at titik. pero hindi mo namamalayan, patapos ka na pala. alam mo ang mga sagot. pero, parang hindi mo matandaan kung tama ba o tlagang nanghula ka. naiimpluwensyihan niya pati patingin mo. ang mga variables, iniispell ang pangalan niya. r=y, t m sub y, a over z, bx+c.. nawiwindang ka na.

hindi ka pa pala tapos. nawili ka kakaisip sa kanya, nalimutan mong may 3 numero pa sa likod. lagot na! 20 minutes na lang. sulat, sulat.. kung ano na lang. tapos, tumunog na ang celfone ni ma'am. alarm! end na ng test. di ka pa tapos! naiihi ka na sa kaba, nalu2ha ka pa. nangi2nig na iyong kamay at tuhod mo.

wala nang oras. ipasa mo na iyong blue book mo.

1 linggo kang nagpuyat, tapos ganon ang katapusan.
peste kasi e.. nanggugulo iyang mahal mong ian.

balik sa dati.

2005-05-22T17:29:00.000+08:00

bat bako nagho2ldback? may mawawala ba sakin? wala naman di ba? anong kinakatakot ko? anong pinagaalala? ika nga nila..

chuva lang ng chuva.. pero, bago iyan, may mas importante pa...
serve lang ng serve..

iyan ang panalo!

haynakoo, di ako nakapag-aral buong araw dahil sa covenant pero worth it. wehehe.. grabe, as usual, kakatouch at kakaenlighten nanaman ang meeting. eyun, ang saya magsabi ng nice things to other people, tas ansaya din magbasa ng nice things na sinulat nila for you.

ano na ba ang ititsika ko? wala naman mashado. im still the same old lovesick brij. im single, and happy. (whoa, i really am back) im enjoying life as it comes. i dont worry. i dont fret. because GOd, i know, has a plan for me. may problems (lalo na sa acads), pero kaya, kakayanin.. hehehe..

whoooo! im so happy today. i feel good.

well, morning pa lang, i knew that i would.

Mood: light-hearted
Music: NOw that You're Near

"That's the problem with doing the right thing. sometimes, you do it yourself."
-Genie;Aladdin 2

waynako...

2005-05-20T08:38:00.000+08:00

aga ko nagising ket alas-dose nako nakatulog..

anna kasi e.. nagpawake-up call.. wahaha.. (yeah, right!)

hayun, wla lng naman. im watchng NBA. pistons vs. pacers. nyay! hhahaha.. nakow, finals ko na sa monday di pako nagbu2klat ng libro. takte.. wehehe.. cramming galore nanaman ito. waynako, ang saya2 ko paggising. dko alam kung bakit. wahahhaa...

ayun, hurt padin ako tlga.. pwo, di ko na tlga uulitin ung nung wednesday.. sumtyms i forget na non-paulinian pala sha at hindi maiiwasang mamisunderstand niya ung mga sinasabi kong dapat e pabiro lang naman..

promise, promise.. hindi nako magiging masyadong pang-asar sa buhay..(oowwwws?!!!!!!!!)

oo.. promise..

haynako...

2005-05-19T08:35:00.000+08:00

You scored as Donald Duck. Your alter ego is Donald Duck! Try as you might, you have a nasty temper that is hard to control. But you try hard to please, and you arn't one to go down without a fight.

Donald Duck

94%

The Beast

88%

Ariel

69%

Goofy

69%

Sleeping Beauty

63%

Cinderella

63%

Peter Pan

56%

Pinocchio

44%

Snow White

38%

Cruella De Ville

31%

Which Disney Character is your Alter Ego?
created with QuizFarm.com

it hurts...

2005-05-19T07:17:00.000+08:00

sinermonan ako.. the 'you-shud-b-sensitive-to-others-level-yourself-down' pitch.. iv heard it a thousand times before..

pwo.... nung xa ung nanermon,

masakit,pare..i felt so bad, that i was close to tears.

i felt bad primarily because i felt like a failure..everybody in the whole wide world knows na iba ko sa kanya..db? takte, i did all i cud, i musterd all the niceness i cud muster... but still it wasnt enuf to keep her from having this impression na im this bigtime meanie.. iv always wanted her to like me..iv always wanted her approval..

i desperately needed someone to talk to. i cudnt find someone.. takte, bat gnun? kung kelan kelangan mo ng kausap, chaka ka walang mahagilap. so there, i stood in front of the mirror, abused the exercise machine,wore myself down and told the mirror everything i feel, (may nakausap pala ko...si GOd)

clearly, i ddnt know wat hapened, wat i sed that irritated her. one moment, we were making hirit like we always do.. then she starts this sermon, the next minute. it took me by surprise, really..

and it made me think, am i really unbearable and irritating?
if so, why do i have such great friends?

pang-asar tlga ko e..magagawa ko? pinalaki akong pang-asar..
hayun, mabait naman ako..

naiiyak nako..

"the whole world ganged up on you, but you remained strong. all he did was say goodbye, and it broke you down."

wla lang..gawa lng ng quote..

umaga na..so, im feeling better..

not much...

2005-05-13T17:18:00.000+08:00

such a low sulky day...

nobody to make me happy...

a lot of things to make me sad..

i wish i cud curse.. argh, if i cud, i wud have said a thousand curses by now... not even a thousand "takte"s cud release this unexplainable feeling of sadness and hopelessness that has been enveloping me for, what, 2 days i thnk.

im happy for you, anna..it's your time to shine.. it makes u happy doesnt it? the feeling of having Mr. Unreachable so near it feels like you've already got him. ( : ingat lang sa mga adik. life is a fast-turning wheel.. you may feel so good right now. but, the next minute is a mystery. you might find yourself lost, depressed, sad.

cynicism is not good i know... but i cant help it.

COMMERCIAL: takte, nakita niyo ba ung pix namin nina aiz at eizel? wooh, ganda.. ( :

mving on, hay..

basta, tama si anna. dapat chuva lng ng chuva..
wag nang umasa..

check new pix at my multiply blog.

i broke my m.r.t card

2005-05-12T17:19:00.000+08:00

again..

argh, y is dat card so sensitive? matupi mo lang void na. man..

ayun, wala namang kwento ngayon. nakinig ako sa math. full 3 hours. nakinig ako. at natuto. no poem writing today. not in the mood.

whew, weirdness ng panaginip ko. napanaginipan ko na ung YFC daw nagpa-camp ulit tas present clang lahat except for one..

ice wasnt der.

den, napanaginipan ko trish at jhen. wehehe.. ambait nila sakin. inaasikaso nila ko, binibigyan ng unan and everything. wehehe.. katuwa.. tas parang scene sa Aladdin, kasi asa rooftop sila looking at the stars, and i was flying around on a magic carpet.

kinikilig ako. im watchng Meteor Garden. woohohohooo! gwapo ni Ken.
F4 is hot.

gotta watch na.

injured

2005-05-11T19:30:00.000+08:00

today i skinned my knee, hit my hand on a wall, scratched my calf, stumbled, tripped, bruised my butt...

~~fell in love~~

inflicted hurt on my very own heart.

i am injured.

haay, wala nanaman akong magawa sa Math. tumula nalang nanaman ako.

Rage of the Pen

scribble, scribble, scribble

goes the sound of the pen.

it writes your name once again.

3 letters, a number and a little heart.

stop, crazy pen, please dont start.

but, to my silent cries, it pays no heed.

scribble, scribble, scribble...

ceasefire seems not a need.

a lump in my throat, water in my eyes---

it then shakes and quivers,

finding it hard to dot the i's.

scribble, scribble, scribble...

it comes to a sudden stop,

while gravity helps a struggling teardrop.

wala lang naman..wahaha..lumalaki na ang adik society. kasali na daw sina aiz at hannah e. so dat makes 5 of us.

cool...

hot...hot..hot.. need...Nay!

2005-05-10T20:47:00.000+08:00

hahaha.. fighting temptations ito! ayoko na. di pwedeng mainlove. noooooo!

anyway, eun.. wla lang naman. wla naman makwento. kundi nasiyahan ako sa exam namin sa math kanina. im not jumping to any conclusions kasi baka madisapoint ako. pero i do fervently pray na pumasa ako.

huwaw! sabay kami ni anna umuwe.. wala kaming ibang pinagusapn on our way home.. kundi si chuvanesses. wahaha! si anna na kahuntahan ko ngayon. dati tlga naala2 ko, jean and i would rather take the long FX ride home just to talk about *toot*. hahaha.

gulo ng meeting kanina. wala ring naresolve na issue. nakoo, ian. wala na tuloy tayong tribe bonding. huhuhuhu..

walang sense.
naiinis lang ako sa mga pinagsasabi ko.

i just realized im slowly living a life independent from THE ex. alam mo un, di ko na xa tinetext at, eherm, di ko na xa gnun nami2ss.di ko na xa napapanaginipan. gusto ko na tlgang kumalas sa multo niya. ayoko nang maglive pa s kanya yung impression na kahit di niya ko kailangan, andito ako para sa kanya. ayoko nang isipin ang kapakanan niya before mine. ayoko nang bigyan siya ng di niya kailangan, mag-alala ng sobra at magpresintang gawin ang mga bagay para sa kanya kahit na panggulo at pang-urat ang mga iyon sa buhay. ayoko nang ilibre siya kahit 200 pesos na lang ang pera ko sa kalagitnaan ng school week. ayoko nang kailanganin sha. ayoko nang gumawa ng sobrang effort para makasama lang siya o di kaya'y makita siyang nakangiti at masaya.

mahal ko sha.. oo..
pero, this time, it's for real...
im moving on...

makata ako ngayon

2005-05-09T17:12:00.000+08:00

kuya ray kasi, sinimulan e.. ayan eto ung mga nagawa kong tula habang nagpapalipas ng oras sa math 54.

himala

ano ang alam mo

sa mga luha ko pag gabi

natatakot pumikit

dahil ala-ala mo'y babalik.

maninirahan ka na naman sa aking panaginip.

hindi pa ba sapat na ako'y niloko?

kailangan pa bang ako ay magtago?

lumipad sa dulo ng kalawakan,

upang mukha mo'y di masilayan?

ako'y isang hamak na nilalang

na ang kahapo'y di pwedeng takbuhan lamang

at sa lungkot at sakit,

napabuntonghininga na lamang at napapikit.

ngunit, sa di mawaring dahilan---

isang himala...

sa pagsara ng mga mata'y

walang umagos na luha.

matalim na tingin

pagpasok ko sa bulwagang palma,

ang sikyuriti guard,

ang tingin sa aki'y masama.

paglagpas ko ay saka ko nakita...

kawawang mama,

nagdurusa sa diarrhea.

(eto courtesy ni kuya ray)

sayang, binigyan ko sana ng Polymagma,

nang matanggal ang diarrhea..

Resurrection

kung nabuhay muli si Rizal,

at nakita ang bayang sa krisis ay sakal,

paniguradong magpapabaril nalang

ulit siya,

sa pagkakita ng kakurapan ni Gloria.

kung si Rizal ay muling mabuhay,

magdiriwang ang mga bantay,

sa init ng araw, sila'y maisasalba.

Tatalab na rin ang gamit na Silka Papaya.

Nawalan ng trabaho kahit na pumuti.

sa malinamnam na Chickenjoy, wala nang pambili.

kay lupit ng tadhana sa kawawang bantay,

na ngayo'y nananalangin wag mabuhay ang patay.

quote of the day: "Ang buhay ay parang dragon: magulo, zigzag, mahiwaga at mistikal" -Kuya Ray.

Pilosopiyang Walang Logic Award: "Kung hindi nabibili ang langit, bakit may katagang "I'm in heaven"?" - ice

joke daw dapat ian, sabi ni aiz.

u shud have seen her face. she looked like Sr. Mila bago mangsermon after ng First Friday Mass.

think about this:
"Love is more than admiration.Love is caring for someone when they are wrong, as well as when they are right, protecting their weakness, guarding them until they find strength again. Love is sharing the little things,as well as the big ones"- Meritt; Slaves of Obsession

so, have you loved lately?

she dives...she swims..she scores!

2005-05-07T16:48:00.000+08:00

natu2wa lang tlga ko how 3 days can inspire people to change.
ung mga shinare nung mga tao, ang galing tlga. wala pa namang nagchechange drastically pero nagbago tlga in so many little ways.
wow. astig lng tlga. a shoutout to Santambac leaders: SOOPER GOOD JOB!

shwiming na.

so, padamihan pala ng puntos sa pool ha? tsk2..kulelat si jinggay e.. kasi naman bat hndi man lang tyo lapitan ano po? shempre ang winner ay si...MAHAL!!!!!!!! actually foto finish sila ni (ATE) aizzah( na kamuka ni corie! wahaha..joke lang..) sa pramihan ng puntos, pero si mahal tlga ang panalo.lahat ng boys(at pati si clarice, ha!). wooh, panalo! kamuka tlga niya si tin villacorta.promise. antagal ko sa pool! hinihintay ko kasi sina lanjae na bumalik from church service. nakababad ako sa pool the whole time. nangulubot at nanakit ang aking mga kamay. kadiri! wahaha.
dey looked like taste buds daw, sabi ni trish(as usual, nag-asaran nanaman kami.) wahaha.

bangagers nanaman kami ni anna. magkatext pala kami khapon while asa taas ako ng Math bldg. at nasa baba xa. tsk2.. sayang,anna. wala sha. woohuhuhu...ansakit ng braso ko. may bite bruise. angsaya ko. natalo ko si fhatz sa water wrestling. yeey! first time. ang saya saya. hehehe.
fhatz, take it easy on the integrals at lovelife ha? ayus lang ian. hahaha.. may mga chubahan na palang di ko nalalaman ha!...wehehe.. *smug*

ako?hahaha..wla lng. nagdrama lang kami ni jinggay sa pool e. magkahug kami. parang tanga. nag-asaran kami ni trish. tsk, trish..sbi ko naman sayo hindi na uubra saking iyang mga sagot mong "e gusto ko e".. nakipagwater wrestling at merry-go-round sa mga kids. ginawang human throne ni ice. at ang pinakamasaya,

CANNONBALL DIVE!

ung iba, mashadong masaya to share e. *spoiler*

hmrm. basta, another happy day with my YFC friends. ( :
looking forward to the next.

P.S. ang cute nung part II nung Surf commercial, kakatouch.

managinip ng gising

2005-05-06T06:36:00.000+08:00

"please don't step on the yellow platform edge.."

mistulang bulong ang paalala ng announcer ng MRT. wala ang utak ko dito. nasa malayo. pinipilit na makasama ka, gumagawa ng ilusyong andito ka katabi ko. tumigil ang tren. parang robot akong sumakay. umupo. at pinagpatuloy ang nasimulang pangarap.

nakatingin lang ako sa labas, sa mga taong ewan ko ba kung bakit nagtitiis sumakay sa bus. mainit, malagkit, mahirap.. ang tao nga naman, kung saan mahirap doon sisiksik at maghahanap ng ginhawa. kung sino pa iyong hindi kayang suklian ang pagmamahal nila, iyon pa ang tinatiyaga nilang mahalin. hindi na ako nasanay. paulit-ulit na lang na ganito. magmamahal ako.pero wala pa rin.. dapt tumitigil na ako.

pero, hindi pa rin. tuloy pa rin. kahit nasasaktan na. kahit walang kapalit. tuloy pa rin. tulad ng MRT na walang pagod sa pagtakbo. kahit sabihin ko ngayong hindi na kita iisipin bukas, alam kong magiging isang napakong pangako nanaman iyon. dahil alam kong iisipin na naman kita, na katabi kita sa ilalim ng ulan. iisipin ko na naman ang iyong ngiti at tawa. mag-iilusyon na naman akong mahal mo ako.

mananaginip na naman ako ng gising.

"you are now at north avenue station..the last station..."
takte, lumagpas na naman ako...
fare adjust na naman.

****************************
im so sad. wala na ung mga teams ko sa playoffs. wala na ang Sacramento, New Jersey, Memphis, Denver at Philadelphia. huhuhuhu...

Houston at Boston na lang ang tangi kong pag-asa.
pag natalo pa sila, ayoko na...hihintayin ko nang magbeysbol.

siyam-siyam

2005-05-04T19:55:00.000+08:00

siyam-siyam...
dats wat the oldies call it.
wen everyone gets their trip to heaven, all at the same time.

i know many people die everyday; too many that a death becomes a mere statistic; unspecial, uneventful. but, how many times in a lifetime do i wake up with 4++ txt messages giving me the "news"?

just this once..
sad i know. this may sound end-of-the-worldish but it seems that no matter how vigilant we are, or how extra careful or health-conscious, wen you're time's up, your time really is up.

*sigh*
bad vibes. i hate feelings like this.

these past few days, iv bin thinking about awful things . wat if i die being stabbed, catching the death blow that was meant for *toot*? the images have been so morbid that sometimes, i cant help but get a lump in my throat.

*sigh*
bad vibes. i hate feelings like this.

i hate days like this. wen the only happy thought i hold is of crushie..

touching to..sooper...

2005-05-03T18:30:00.000+08:00

Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is so worth it.
Touching words from the mouth of babes.
What does Love mean?

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?"

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore.
So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
Rebecca- age 8
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy - age 4
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
Karl - age 5
-------------------------------------------------------------
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy - age 6
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - age 4
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.
My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"
Emily - age 8
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,"
Nikka - age 6
(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."
Noelle - age 7
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."
Tommy - age 6
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.
He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."
Cindy - age 8
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"My mommy loves me more than anybody .
You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."
Clare - age 6
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
Elaine-age 5
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
Chris - age 7
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."
Mary Ann - age 4
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
Lauren - age 4
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an image)
Karen - age 7
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."
Mark - age 6
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
Jessica - age 8
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge.

The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When h is Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,

"Nothing, I just helped him cry"

im happy. i dunno y.

2005-05-03T17:49:00.000+08:00

i shud feel really bad right now, kasi my math exam was oh so hard.
but im not..

wala lang. happy lang. just one worry, though..

my dad's gonna undergo surgery. e 80 thousand ung kelangan. shoot. san kaya may ganun kalaking pera?e he has to have the surgery asap na. hay...

pero aside from that, im fine. ( :
happy actually..
no reason...
im just happy..

astig..lupit..galing ni GOd

2005-05-02T19:43:00.000+08:00

dun sa mga nagsasabing corny ang YFC, at may tinge ng pagkabigla pag may nakilala silang YFC member,

mag-YFC muna kayo.. bago kayo umasta ng gnyan..
wag niyo nako gayahin.

pahiya..

april29-May1: sumama lang ako dahil sa aking crush. but, in the end, i got and went through deeper and more important things.

APril 29: hmrm, mainit sa bus. 80++ kmi tpos isang bus lang at ung aircon nagpanggap pang heater. i got on sa cainta na, thank you. so hindi ko mashado naramdaman ang init. pagdating don, wlang pahi-pahinga. start na agad. checking of bags. inattempt ko pang itago ang phone nina jean at nowee. natakot ako. so i was left with empty shoes and a nasty and painful bruise on my right foot. nagbigay ng house rules. owel, para nga tlga xang leadership training.

pinakilala ung 3 tribes:Yawazzup, Batribot at xempre Santambacon. Santambac lang xa originally. e kasami namin COncorde, so...

sa evening, we ate dinner together.. my stomach got really2 queasy and squirmish kasi i dont eat tapa tlga tpos i finished my share and i finished wt was left of ice's dinner as well. tapa overload tlga.. *gulp*

nag-talk si fhatz. cool! paunang bati, astig.
ang galing ng facies ko. c tina at trix.

we got to our cottages. at guess wat, bawal maligo. hooray!

April 30:paggising ko, c ice! maysakit at she was blushing; pink all over. looked like wen i had dengue and i had rashes and a 42-C fever.tsk2..maraming beses ko atang tinanong kung ok lang xa, wahaha, nairita na ata sakin.

hmrm, amazing race. astig ka hanna. basta takbuhan ang liksi! masaya to. we did good. we had fun. the afternoon was good, mejo madali lang. long break. 1 to ones. ( : nyt came and everything just sucked all my energy.

baptism: na-bore ako sa talk pero tinry ko tlga makinig. we were asked to pray, close our eyes and imagine Jesus is talking to us. this was where my head ached. bad and good forces were fighting in my head. i had to think pa of good thoughts to replace the images in my mind. while waiting for my facies, i prayed with my eyes open. but everytime i get into the middle of my prayer, i just zone out. it wud start na maala2 ko c crushie tpos the chain of thoughts just goes on and on, until i close my eyes and concentrate.

wen my turn came, i felt heavy. sooper parang bakal ung katawan ko. my shoulders were drooping papuntang canteen. and i felt so tired. hindi ngako nkasunod sa tongues. tapos prayer time ulit, tapos prayer time ulit.

tapos E night. ( : shwimming with eizel and jestle. conversations with anna, fhatz and ice(B.B. hahaha..).( :

may1: last day. halos puro worship at bigayan ng letters. naluha ako nung worship. at lalo na sa mga nag-share. ( :"BE strong. Wala tayong bus. be strong." Ces tlga o! tsk2.. buddy ko nanaman. i slept for 12 hours. kagabi, after i did all my chuvaness, i decided to start my 15-minute prayer habit. hindi e.. feeling ko nakatulog tlga ko.. i remembered na i was praying, nagkkwento..tas the next thing i remember, i checked my fone for messages at 830 a.m.

astig tlga ang youth camp.ang lupit at galing ni God. God really is everywhere. God is for real.

ung gantong feeling, ni hindi ko to nafeel nung retreat. ngayon lang tlga..

don sa mga agnostic, eto lang ang masasabi ko...

Believe!

horoscope

2005-04-28T22:52:00.000+08:00

Have you been looking for a new and interesting companion? Someone who's just bright and witty enough to capture your attention and hold it? Well get ready, because they're right around the corner. What do you have to do to ensure that the feelings will be mutual? Just show up and smile that dazzling smile. No one could ever resist you, especially when you've been waiting for them for so long.

friendster horoscope just makes it so damn worse..wahahha

_blah_

2005-04-28T22:01:00.000+08:00

crazy...
hafta stop..
otherwise, too much...
brainfreeze...

camp na namin bukas..finally, a chance to get my life back on track. a retreat from integrals, softball and my dear PS2. leadership-slash-retreat-slash-youth camp ito.

nako, the secret is out in the open.. i dont know how or why. pero pati ang walang kamuwang-muwang na si rai e alam na. wow, talk about a good circle of trust. well, baka obvious naman kasi ako..hmrm..hindi rin..

nakakita ko ng pooh bear na hotdog pillow kanina. tas tinignan ko xa, at nilingon ko pa. tas sbi ko, 'may kamukha si pooh..'... isip, isip.. den it hit me... kamuka ni ice! wahaha.. natawa ako..

wahahhaa... im all pent-up. i want sum1 to talk to..as in, sum1 who wud just listen. sum1 who wud understand. ung tipong we'd sandal on a wall and talk about stuff, people we are gaga about. i want to tell her about people and she'd tell me wat to do.
i want to tell her about hopeless love. and she'd understand kasi she feels the same thing for sumbody else..

i want to share my insanity with someone else.

i want dzhot right now... now..

but, really, anybody willing to hear the same thing over and over again... anybody like that will do just fine..

P.s. Ayrie and trish, i saw Constantine. and i so dont look like him at all! phbbbt! tina agrees with me na im better-looking. *wink* thanks tina! hehehe : )

Mood: insane
Song: I'll Never Go

addict

2005-04-27T14:02:00.000+08:00

adik ako e..
may mga times na ganito tlga..ung isang tao lang ang nakikita,naririnig at naiisip mo
pero hindi ka nagsasawa

adik ako sa isang tao kapag...

hindi ako makatulog pag gabi. parang gusto ko nang gawing trampoline ung kama ko sa sobrang tuwa.
mas matagal maligo. actually, id take a bath in 15 minutes and play pretend in front of the mirror, about me and chuva.
kahit pang-nth degree pa shang friend sa frendster, hahuntingin ko xa. pag tinanong ng frendster,alam ko ang buong pangalan niya. (hehehe...Rob..)
for a week, sha at sha ang napapanaginipan ko.
i feel really really queasy. my stomach turns upside down in an instant. (remember the Trish thing? ha! bumaligtad sikmura ko nong pesteng concert na un!)
i exert extra effort NOT to text him every minute. kahit gusto kong ibombard xa ng mga messages.
pag tumawag, kahit busy at sooper maraming kailangang gawin, stop muna. as in complete stop
maririndi ang mga tao kasi pag nagkwento ako, paulit-ulit-ulit. i tell the same chvuaness story almost ten times (dba jean...)
i tell everybody na crush ko ung tao...but never, ever, tell the tao mismo. (although sometimes i do)

ano naman ang taong kaadik?

ung smart. at mayabang. (wag lang Pisay)
nakakaurat sha,at angsarap ihagis sa bintana. pero...
loveable
gotta be, gotta be TRipLE C (like dzhottie...)
can talk about anything under the sun! politics, dancing, music and especially especially Sports and especially especially Basketball and baseball and especially especially THe NY Yankees and the Sacramento Kings.
one-of-a-kind.
cross breed ng 2 sa first exes ko. ( :

adik ba ko? as in right now? hmrmr....

i dont think so...hahahaha..

yeah right!

irritated

2005-04-27T13:34:00.000+08:00

oh man.. naiirita tlga ko sa math54. headache-inducing.
i wish i were as smart as my classmates. pero kung idedepive ako ng face value,

wag nalang.
id rather be a good-looking averagely smart failing EEE student.
hehehe.

gen. practice na ngyon. camp na on friday. wahahaha... eun, dito kong s.c. ka-chat si tina na nasa tambayan na nagwa-wifi ata. hmph.

my mind is in disorder. obvious ba. puro snippets lang ang nakwe2nto ko. input overload to ng math. hehehe. haynako, ayoko na. wala nakong masabi..

trash entry, damn it.

Song: Don't Say you Love me by The Corrs
Mood: irritated.

dreamarama

2005-04-25T13:34:00.000+08:00

si ice, pati sa panaginip ko andon..3 nights in a row. wahahaha.

una: tinuturuan niya kong magyosi.
pangalawa: :)
pangatlo: asa party parin kami. tas tintx niya lahat ng tao. tinatanong niya kung tulog nako.

birthday ni lanjae kgbe. waah, si fhatz sooper heartbroken ata over game. hahaha. hapy birthday lanj! saya ng birthday mo, sooper. kahit walang maupuan,kahit sa lamesa na lang ako nakaupo, sarap naman ng baked tahong. uy, napakain ako ng tahong. i dont eat tahong e. wahaha.kung wala lang akong pasok, baka tinapos ko un. sowee, kelangan ko pa mamahinga e. hahaha. rock all night!ayos ung mga kanta.pangbitter. lalo na don sa "biglaan" ba un. pinagitnaan ako ng 2 heartbroken pipol: ice on my left and fhatz on my right. crush ko sana ung drummer kaso yosiboy. i hate yosiboys.

Anna: Anong apilido ni Lilette?
Sum1: Ano?
Anna: Chonin. lilette Chonin

natawa ako don sooper. hahaha..

kat and jean: you guys, i missd u. twas gud to see you again.
bianx: wooh! di kapadin nagbabago. tarantations paren everness.
eds: pinagalitan ka ba?
jinggay: di ko na kailangan..kumpleto na.
fhatz: nakoo, ayus lang ian. kailangan lng tnggapin kung anuman ang pasya ni game. kahit masakit.
anna: hmrm..kinikilig-kilig ka pa jan..andami mong chuba gaga ka
eizel: yihee. dexter..
yayam: hehehe..namiss kita.
lanj: bagay tlga kayo ni cocoy e.

may bago nakong mantra ngayon. hindi na "screw math53". "screw math54" na. hahaha. angsaya-saya ko. ewan. adik na ko. adik! happiness junkie.

hmrm...camp na namin sa friday. watever the camp is, im 100% sure iv seen worse. indoc at talent show pa lang e.. hindi ngalang test ng physical endurance pati mental at emotional endurance na din. o wel,i wana "reformat" my faith and tend to my religious obligations. so i really2 have to make this one good. so..

hmm, everything(aside from math54) is going well. smooth sailing ito. no worries. hahaha. i missd my blog. wala kasi kong pambili ng internet load sa bahay e. eun.

galit parin sakin si dzhot.o wel, im too happy to let it spoil me.

Song: Once in a Lifetime
Mood: ecstatic

nasaktan ko nanaman ang damdamin ng prinsesa

2005-04-20T21:56:00.000+08:00

i dont know why..

in an instant, she makes me feel like my urinary bladders are gonna explode.

magalit lang xa saken.

my "thing" hurts all night sa kaba.
i laugh pero my heart beats real fast.
i dont know if id laugh it off or id beg for forgiveness.
i stare in front of the mirror and say sorry in different ways; differnt tones,emotions.

it always ends up like this. a fcuking misunderstanding. i like wat i said, she doesnt like it. wen she tells me something she likes to say (honest yan, sobra..), i hate it.. every lil thing said just gets out the wrong way. and i always rake and take my way through for her forgiveness.

im not making sumbat naman.. okay lang iyon. its always my fault anyway.

i didnt mean it to sound that way. but yeah it did. i realized that it hit the wrong note and rebutted the wrong person.

too late.. its there for all the multiply pipol to see.

dzhot, sorry na..
i rubbed it the wrong way, i know.

im still at a loss. and i feel like going to the CR but i know nothing's gonna come out.
kasi wala naman tlga. its just kaba, fear, fucking "botherishness"...
fuck.

forgive me, i always always always do this to you.
and i hate it wen i make you feel bad.
and i hate me that i cant help but do this to you from time to time..

weird dreams, enough already

2005-04-20T20:55:00.000+08:00

this one is weird. pwo not as weird naman as the vatican dream.
here goes.

i dont know how it happened. but, the dream started with a jade dragon artifact in my possession. a mysterious voice directed me to return it to China. so, i got on my dad's motorcycle and drove away until i reached this house. to my surprise,kay annabelle rama iyong bahay. and to my double surprise, anak niya si Tina. i asked everybody in the household to accompany me in my adventure. everybody refused,except for one..

Tina. oh, man.

eto nanaman e, ung mga near-but-far friends, lumalabas na naman sa panaginip ko. weird. argh, wats eating my subconscious mind?

i browsed the ShrEEEk survival kit. gawa pala ng ERG iyon. nakalagay don.

" (as a EEE student), you are like a king. you have many subjects. you are like a tyrant. your subjects hate you."

i read frau's blog kagabi. thanks frau. i have a yummy piece of profanity under my sleeve.

"fudge you!" sweet..

"if we die trying to save one memory, we risk losing them all. memories are nice,(yes). but that's all they are..(memories)." -Wakka; FF X-2

dzhottie, i hope you're okay na. dont mind that wendylicious person. congrats, flat 1.0 ka, madame president! you are just so fudging great. il treat you sum other time. wag lang ngayon. super may babayaran ako e.

wala nakong iniicp ngayon. nabo2re naman ako. dati. lagi nlng c person, c person. puro nalang si person. ngayon wala na.

it sucks. your mind idle. wen all you cud think of is your first kiss. then you shiver like stupid, either because it was yucky or it was fudging muscle tension-inducing.

well, at least mine was the latter.

Song: Ice, Ice Baby
Mood: Blah!

hahaha..kala mo lang.

2005-04-18T20:26:00.000+08:00

promise cima. u made the right choice sa pag-pepeyups mo. *wink*
at bagay si marianne sa u.p. no! everyone that smart fits in u.p.

ateneo?the richer, wealthier, safer, well-mannered(ayan ha, i did not say elitista na) side of U.K.(UNiversities in Katipunan). ah, how i wish i had the money to study there.

owel, but u.p.'s a happy place. unsafe. open. with holdapers and rapists around. fratmen with short temper. girls who rarely are virgins. gays.lesbos. extreme p.d.a. lousy food. stinking CR's(except in EEE). rotten chem labs. 6 routes of jeeps. grassy.forest-ish. no i.d. checkpoints. patriotic. rallies all around. bureacracy at its finest, right undr your nose. a makeshift shopping center. and dorms with no water.

and most of all, it's brimming with smart and highly intellectual people worthy of being iskolars of the nation. (including CHK, anu ba!)

so, if you're in U.P., uv made the right choice.

the crazy, insane, illogical but right choice. *wink*

been too tired to blog

2005-04-18T19:10:00.000+08:00

but now im back.
with a 5.0 grade in EEE11..(sayang tlga. i was one M.P. away)
anyway..let me fill you in.

last week was ERG week. we had practices everyday from april 12-15. tas we had our talent show. id rather not dig in on all the details, lest i spoil the fun for some ERG aspirant who might be reading this blog. wahaha. i had real fun with my batchmates.

preshy:well, it was real nice we're in this together.
karen: she made me realize na sometimes, you really have to sweat the small stuff and make things perfect. (my thighs still hurt dahil sa ating stretching routine.)
camille: hahaha..niransack namin bahay niyo. man, the best ka sumayaw ng THriller. *wink*
julie: ur house was nice..way2 nicer in the morning than in the dead of night, though. weird ka, tinawag mong 'matet' si mayette. tas nagtataka ka kung bat di ka pinapansin.
ayrie: kasi naman, let go na. avoid those ill thoughts and wishes against boy and girl. its not good to be bitter. dont do the pitpit thing again a. scare the hairballs out of me, it did.
mayette: hay. we pulled it through because of you.

madami pa e. basta, lahat. hay.. sakit parin ng katawan ko pewo ayus lang. start ng classes. waah, im missing dzhot..uber, sobra.. ay,ay, c presh. kaklase si CJ sa English1. talk about moving on. geez. jeepney strike ngyon. i had to walk from math to the gym only to find na classes were suspended for the afternoon. double geez. kasabay ko si tim kanina. i told him na bumagsak akong eee11. den, he told me about this EEE person hu flunked all his subjects. 5.0 in EEE31 and 11, and 4.0 in CHem 16 and Math53. it was a mean thing to think of, but i felt better na sumbody is worse off than i am. bad.bad.bad.

kasi naman, para ka namang di nag-aaral, EEE person. pumapasok ka lang ata sa iskwela para magyosi e. ano po?

il be busy with YFC in the next two weeks. hay, sa 29 na ngapala un no? tsk2. oy ung mga pinagsabihan ko ng secret, siguraduhin niyong pag-atend ko ng meeting bukas, secret parin ung secret natin a! bugbog kayo pag sinabi niyo nang wala ako.

hehe.joke lang.

'madaling sumaya, malungkot at mainis.madaling malasing ng walang alak o ma-high ng walang drugs. madaling mabaliw within a few seconds..lamo kung pano? simple.. mahalin mo si CJ"

joke,presh. peace.wahahah! wag ka magddrop. baka mauno mo pa ang english 1 dahil jan.

wala kong maisip e. baka mahate-mail nanaman ako pag nilagay ko ung akin. haha. we're stil not okay. pero, im not bitter anymore.

isipin na niya gusto niyang ispin about me. i dont care.
hindi kami bati. bati kami. watever suits you, person.
its all the same with me. ( : *wink*

bingo blues

2005-04-09T22:32:00.000+08:00

for us here who can't afford a Boracay trip on impulse, or find it too boring to go out and enjoy the cool air in the nearest mall, we do one crazy, emotional, downright enjoyable game: Bingo- a self-centered game, because you always think you'd win.

so, every night, i observe my playmates (my mom, my aunts, my cousins, and sometimes the rowdy boys next door), and they seem to have this bingo superstitions going:

my cousin, ivy, has to have cards all of the same color. it has to have order. blue goes well with orange, pink goes well with pink.
my other cousin, ningning, has this habit of shouting out the numbers she needs to win. well, it seems that pre-empting luck has its bad consequences. she rarely wins.
my mom. argh, my mom. everytime she calls the numbers, it takes us a good long 15 minutes before someone shouts 'bingo'.

and me? oh, i want to keep it simple.

4. i just have to have one green card and one orange card. and, the hell with winning. it's the fun and the laughs and the thrill im after.

and, yeah, it hit me(again..). love is a lot like bingo. you play it(play it, not play WITH it) in whatever manner you choose. sometimes, you play it in a whirlwind-romance kind of fashion. and sometimes, you take it one step at a time, in order. when you force it or pre-empt it, it never comes. sometimes, it takes more than 15 minutes. it takes 15 days, months, and, hopefully not, years. when you know it's coming, you get all giddy. the words "i'm in love" are just raring to come out of your mouth.

and most of all, when you have nothing more to lose, and get tired of hoping you'd win,

you win.

****************

i had the weirdest dreams iv ever had in the past few months.

Dream1: Exorcist ala Bautista

we were all sleeping daw sa taas. then nagising ako kasi may mga footsteps sa may stairs. when i looked at the wall, there was a shadow of a girl with her hair (commercial: i turned on the lights. can't bear recounting this in the dark) shaped like horns. i was so afraid. so i hugged my brother really tight. then, the ghost got into my dad. so, he was the first one to be possessed. i didnt know where it came from but suddenly, i had this huge test tube rack with all the fluids. i tried something. but, it took a while to exorcise my dad. i led him downstairs and checked on my mom. she was fine. i shouted to jemay, my brother, to turn off the lights upstairs. he answered with this feminine white-lady-like voice, "Ayoko". when i got upstairs, naka-Indian sit siya with his head down. then, tumirik iyong mata niya and he fainted on my bed. i had to bring him down also, give him the fluid, and fight him.

then, the next day, gossips circulated. turned out the naughty ghost was a pest to everybody. she was also seen driving a ghost Ford Explorer, and was heard making footsteps in some house's stairs. i managed to exorcise my dad and bro. but, i didnt find out who the ghost was. not until a commercial dream and another wacky dream.

Commercial Dream:

This was flashy. Someone texted me, "Hello, Brij. it's me, Trish." tapos, ung style niya ung alternate uppercase-lowercase chuva na text. tas nagreply ako, "Hindi nako naniniwala sayo."

then everything just went black. before i knew it, my subconscious blasted me to Vatican.

Dream 3: Vatican trip

St. Peter's Square was weird. it was actually more of a hotel than a place of worship. we were ushered inside. all i remembered was the basement(or the crypt) was jampacked with people, so this man in James Bond clothes took a detour to the "backyard" of the Vatican, which wasn't a backyard at all. it was a beach wherein only black people were allowed to swim. meteors were falling from the sky, making huge craters on the sea below. we dove in, with the James BOnd man. then, suddenly, the black people fired bombs on St.Peter's Basilica. i asked the James BOnd man why these people threw bombs. at naguluhan ako sa sagot niya.

he said,"It's gonna make the walls stronger". we got into our rooms, removed our wet swimwear, and got on to the continuation of my next dream.

COntinuation of Dream 1: si Paulina ang ghost

wen i went up and visited my brother, he was okay. but, i saw my cousin there, with a devilish grin on her face. nobody could see her but me. she went downstairs and sat beside my dad. wen it seemed na she was trying to possess my dad again, i woke up.

prang nasense na ng subconscious na uulit ung dream.

owel, ang weird tlga.weird.

tsk, i won 80 pesos sa bingo today. hahaha.

just imagine how happy i could be right now if i had as good a luck in love as i have in bingo.

near-perfect people

2005-04-07T12:56:00.000+08:00

im watchng SHallow Hal right now. haynako, i just love this movie's scriptwriter. witty. sobra. my gosh, i wish i cud write like that.

nway, nowee, sbi na e. beware of near-perfect people. chances are, theyre too good to be true. hahaha. i just hate it wen people badmouth someone i like, kahit pa totoo ung mga pinagsasabi nila. it just stresses you. now, u have to make ur own judgment of him. den u doubt if u really had the right perspective of him, that you saw him as he truly is. u have to prevent bias to control you. u want to give him a chance, but those awful stories are just there at the back of ur head.

nowee, i know. it sucks. >.< well, good luck.

relief..thanks, trix. im relieved. well, sumhow, i am. ( :

my horoscope for the day:It's not usually in your nature to buck the authorities and fight City Hall. But this one issue you've been dealing with lately has really gotten under your skin, and you're willing to do what it takes to make your point. Well, good for you -- because you're right. And you know it, too, don't you? Well, then, don't give up and don't give in. Keep at it. You're almost there.

i cooled my head off.

2005-04-06T13:21:00.000+08:00

o well, after a good 10-entry vacation sa multiply, im here in blogspot nanaman. wala lang. finally, i got things in order.

mejo naguluhan ako, with all the weird stuff threatening to destroy my well-established and long-awaited peace and order. pero, ayus na. sooper ayos.

nag-YFC ako. and i went to Mass last SUnday. (i dont go to mass,remember?)
i will be ECE forever. That is solved. no more wishing i were in BRoadComm or Journ.
chuva? hahaha..wooH! wala! (i really am back to my normal self)
i got all my summer classes.

ayun, hahaha. meeting pala ng YFC ngayon, ano? may pagtatapat pako kay trix ngayon e..hahaha.. ( :

grabe, kahapon. bundat na bundat kaming apat nina G.A. at P. hahaha. ayoko nang isulat pangalan niyo. GAP nalang kyo mula ngyon. hay, thanks much! ann, i love you tlga! preshie, magbati na kasi kyo ni mau e no! sana lang. hndi pinagaawayan si bangungot. jeany, namiss kita sooper. ung parang pag may nang-aaway sa kin, mas galit ka pa kaysa sakin. i love you tlga. hahaha. ikaw, basta Poveda kilala mo a. hahaha.

ayun, ang saya ng buhay. well atleast, hnggat hndi pa summer classes.

au revoir!

2005-03-28T19:50:00.000+08:00

my blogspot's brimming with bitterness and angry feelings.
not to mention, the string of hate mail from i-dont-know-if-theyre-real e-mail addresses i got last february. whew!
too much for me.

check me out: brijybaby.multiply.com

pero tag pa rin keo. at click on the links. support blogs. (yaks, u.p. effect.)

i might be back.
someday, wen i feel better.

for now, bye blogspot.
hello, multiply.

chorvaless

2005-03-27T23:53:00.000+08:00

day by day, pakonti ng pakonti ko na xang iniicp. gusto ko parin xa, oo. pero, putang ina, kung si ano at si ano din naman ang makakatext ko everytym i drop a message sa number niya, nakoo, wag nalang. mamatay na lang ako.

i hate the thought of u.dahil sayo, im sounding like a ranting blonde bozo. (redundancy is emphasis.) alamo, sana nga nanahimik na lang ako. tlist in the confines of my own world, alam kong im better, more worthy at harder to get than ano, na ako ung hindi at never niyang maku2ha, na nkatatak na sa isip kong hindi ko tlga xa nagustuhan. sana hindi ko nalang xa nacrush ulit. sana hndi ko na lang inattempt iprove sa knyang im better, more worthy at harder to get.

ksi, it just made me look worse, pathetic, and easy.

dont you just hate it? yes i just hate it.
screw that rivermaya concert.

********************
why does life have to end with one person? why do you spend all your time waiting for that second chance? amidst all the unsurmountable odds, u wait patiently, oblivious of the other chances of love passing you by. time flies. but u stand still. waitng,waiting.waiting. why do you have to get down on your knees, and beg for him to come back? why do you have to endure seeing him with someone else, when you know you're better off without him? u wake up each day, pretending he's still crazy for you. pretending he's there. but really, if all ure gonna do is pretend, why bother?

why hurl yourself into a whirlwind of pain for someone you threw away?
i know why.

because he's the only missing screw that could make you complete.

you have to have him, even if it takes a thousand years, even if he makes you feel like trash, even if it hurts that he compares you to a fucking offline-when-you-need-it-online-when-you-dont a.t.m., even if you have to kneel on rocks, even if he hates you so much.

you will do anything. because unless you have him, you're nothing.

alive, yes.
but broken, nevertheless.

change of environment

2005-03-27T23:27:00.000+08:00

today i thought of changing blogs; from blogger to multiply. pero, i realized. andaming blogspotters kong mami2s. so i ges il stick with this dora blog, for now. anakanangputa. hahaha. grabe, im returning to God. for the first time in a long time, naging makabuluhan ang HOly week ko. haha.

( : anak ng.. i read a mesage this morning. it just stuck to me all day! grabe, after everything, ganun. ganun. anak ng tlga. hahaha.

owel, mag-mu2ltiply nako one of these days. bye blogspotters. i need a change of environment. kasi dis blog smells of bitterness na. ( :

il keep you guys posted.

reply.reply.reply.

2005-03-27T11:37:00.000+08:00

dear you,

hey2. wag mo na ko paiyakin. masaya na e. im hapy with this uv-got-yours-iv-got-none-and-were-friends-but-we-kill-each-other thing we got going. kalimutan mo na un. anu kaba? wala na un. alam mo naman basta sayo, titanic ang drama ko sa buhay. u jump, i jump.

aba, buti naman alam mong napakaswerte mo kung hnggng ngyon tyo pa. ( : kahit patayin na kita sa asar, at minsan sobrang nakakabadtrip ako, ung tipong nagsisigawan tayo. swerte ka parin.at swerte din ako. and we cudve had such a great time together. sobrang di nga kta sasaktan. and id do anything to make you happy. pero cmon, i know ure having a greater tym with someone else. ( :

well, yeah. i guess you've hurt me dati. and the recent dati. pero, maiiwasan ba un? i mean, mahal na mahal kita. tpos, i was put in such a fucked-up sitch,na i dont know wat i was to you wen you meant a whole lot to me.(well, u meant a quarter of the world to me, actually.) shempre, masakit. pero i know naman na u did not go out of your way to hurt me. dala lang cguro ng circumstances. and my own emotional shit.

so you dont need to change. ( :

kasi you, you supersensitive, crybaby, five-star-chef-wannabe you.. you're the bestest ex iv ever had.

and i love you. so much.

2005-03-26T22:44:00.000+08:00

i watched the incredibles kanina. doesnt she look like someone i know? hmmm.. kamuka ni newfound crush, db?

wala padin akong m.p. promise, promise, promise, bukas na tlga. buong araw. pramis!

7th heaven

2005-03-25T20:32:00.000+08:00

lampas na ang mga tao sa langit. naisalba na silang lahat.

nagbisita iglesia ako
nagdasal ng 2 sets ng block rosary
hindi ako mashado gumagala, at, ang pinakaimportante..
after such a long time, ginive-up ko na si BIOMAN. : )

pinakamalaking sakripisyo iang pagsakripisyo kay Bioman, kala niyo! si presh nga lumulutang na habang naglalakad sa sobrang laki ng sakripisyo na ian. db preshie? hahaha. wala lng. naicp ko lang na wla din namang pu2ntahan kung magbitter-bitteran pakong mewon xang iba. edi don na xa, mahal na mahal naman niya si ano e. dati kasi pag naiicp kong may mahal xang iba, d ako makahinga, nagagalit ako at naiiyak. ngayon, well, sweet release.

BIOMAN, bahala ka na. ( : dito lang ako.

+when you always think that every girl who comes into his life is gonna steal him away, thats not protectiveness.thats insecurity.+

hay sakit na ng ulo ko kakagawa ng news letter. nakaka11 pages pa lang ako. wala pa kong m.p. huhuhu. hndi, kaya ko to. hmph.

Yin + yang equals chi

2005-03-22T14:33:00.000+08:00

Yin:

Alam mo, cant get over tlga e. nakakapikon tlga e. pagkaisahan ba daw ako at loko-lokohin habang obvious naman na seryoso ako? Sana lang di ba. Sinasabi nang malinaw. Oo nga, ure leaving me to assume na wala na nga. Pero, sa mga bagay na ganito, pafilingan na. Hangga’t hindi sinasabing wala na talga, meron at meron pa ian. Kaya sana, wag na kong gayahin at wag paglaruan ang feelings ng iba. Nagawa ko na iyon dati e.At pinagsisihan ko na nga diba? maawa naman sana. huwag nang ibalik sa kin. Madali naman akong kausap. Hindi naman kita papatayin pag sinabi mong ayaw mo, pag sinabi mong umalis na ako at maghanap ng another person worth the surprises, the time and the dreams. Kung ayaw, wag pilitin. Kung ayaw mo, edi wag. Pero sana sabihin mo. Don’t keep me in the dark. Kasi gusto kita e. gustong gustong gustong gustong gusto. Ayoko nang pakawalan ka nang ganun-ganun nanaman, na parang natulog lang ako ayoko na. Kaya syempre ang paniwala ko, kaya ko. May pag-asa ito. kaya parang awa mo na. Sabihin mo na lang. para mapadali ang buhay ko, matahimik ang buhay niyo, at maging mapayapa ang buong mundo.

Naiinis tlaga ako.

Presh, mamatay na lang ung mga tinatamaan. Kaya ikaw, mamatay na. (bwahahaha)

Yang:

Lahat ng disappointments at kapikon, burado kagabi sa birthday ni Kat. Kapgod, oo. Hindi rin ako nakainom. Pero ang saya ni Kat. Kaya masaya na rin ako. Hehehe. Kat, happy birthday. Ope u enjoyed your night.

St. Paul reunion. Si anna senglot nanaman. Tsk. Tirahin ba naman ung tequila at Vodka Ice. Hindi e. naubos ung Vodka Ice. Halfway through the program, I asked for a bottle. Aba’y wala nang V.I. amazing. Sarap ng roast beef at cake. Kaso ung icing nakakadiscourage kainin. Kumukulay sa ngipin. E sana kung light colors. Hindi e. Navy blue, orange, dark pink, green. Sana lang.

Gaga tong si Jinggay, kantahan ba daw ako ng +waiting in Vain+. Hahahaha. Oh yes, I don’t wanna wait in vain for love. Pero, un na nga, hindi ko nga lam kung in vain ba tlga.

Si kuya pao naman. Naka-pink miniskirt na nga ko at may rosas sa nakapusod kong buhok, aba naman, Pare pa rin tawag sakin. Kuya Pao naman e, babae namn kasi tlga ko e.

Wooh, grabe. Kat, salamat sa iyong kaarawan, may bago na kong pinagpapantashan.
I have someone new to dream about at night,
to daydream about during my 1-230 classes,
to waste all my brain cells for,
to pretend in front of the mirror na akin siya, na nag-aaway kami, na may sweet moments kami.
Ang cutie-cute tlga niya. Kaaliw. Hehehe. Ang sarap isipin.

Hopeless din to, absolutely.
Pero, keber. Its not like I’m not used to it.

New + old. Kapikon + kaaliw. Stressing + happy. Yin + yang.

Equals chi.

no stir, wlang bitterness ito.

2005-03-19T22:06:00.000+08:00

this is no self-induced torment like what i did last night, forcing people to say words that shud be left unspoken.

i visited dzhottie's page at there ws this entry named love the secnd time around. her iloveyou-whatnots to fat-dino.

and i did not feel mad.
nor did i have a hard tym breathing.
nor did i feel tears welling up.
no anything.

just one big smile.
that finally, the person i have loved most of all, is happy again.

funniest love story

2005-03-19T21:59:00.000+08:00

i dont wanna share mine, ksi funny xa at kakailang at the same tym.

if u wnt ur own funny story, click this link. love2loop

have fun, you guys. and laugh hard.
coz i did.

Reminiscence

2005-03-19T21:02:00.000+08:00

No, no..this is not a revival of ethel’s column. It’s just that all I did today was to reminisce, remember and be bitter.

Bubbles shirt: aww, dzhottie. We used to have this bubbles vs. buttercup fight. Sobrang kinarir niya ung away, she even sent me a picture message (di pa uso MMS non e..) to prove her point.

Maingay na girl: nakasabay ko tong isang studyante na super ingay. Super parang si abby tlga. Hehehe. Pati hirit.tawa. salita. Lahat.

The green leaves and the +yellow snow+: medjo tuyot na ung mga yellow snow pero the green and yellow reminded me of high school, then of senior year, then of e-i-c-ship, then of p.l., then I stopped thinking before I get to the thought I dread thinking about the most right now..

Lunch at Cellos: mis ko na si rej, ung sabay kami maglu2nch at magpapakabundat sa tigalawang sunglo peach juice drink, na favorite namin. Nakakahiya tlga ung nakasabit ung baon ko sa gate tpos nung ku2nin ko, asa harapan ni cinco ung baon ko e..hahaha.
Funny un.

Kninang umaga, while I was taking a bath, binuksan ko ung radio. Sunod-sunod ung mga kanta. +girl, im sorry but ure the last thing on my mind+, +I knew I loved you before I met you..+, +it’s too late..blah blah blah+, tpos +hands to heaven+. Hindi ko kinaya. I rested my head sa poso and shouted +waaaaaaaaahhh.nasasaktan na ko+. Narinig ako ng nanay ko.kala niya kung ano na nanyare sakin.

One more! last nyt, I think presh and I were having an indirect psychic text conversation. Hehhee. Kasi naman magkaiba kami ng katxt, at magkalayo kami pero sobrang swak sa isa’t-isa ung mga sinabi namin.

Brij: asows..ayw mo lng icpn magkakaron ka pa ng iba..

Presh: (to Roco) no, its nt dat ur love is not enough. Its just too much that I cant even return half of that love back.

Brij: so dats lyk saying na wala nakng chance.

Presh: im not worthy of your love.

Brij: cbhin mo ksi.

Brij: So wala na nga kong chance?

Presh: No, I cant love you the way you love me.

Hahaha..preshie, cbi na e. mga sinasabi mo.ilang beses ko na narinig iyan e. basta sabihin mo kay Roco na ayaw mo na ha? Promise? Para naman may closure, kahit bitter man lang. nakakaawa naman ung lalaki. Antay ng antay. Hindi mo pa sinasabi directly at outrightly na ayaw mo sa kanya.

Seniors 2005, hapi graduation. Ope u had a good high school life. Mga next-sem dilimaners, Welcome to the jungle. (- -,) kita-kits sa June. May the force be with you. Sige na nga, pati na rin ung mga next-sem Atenistas at Miriamites, kahit elitista ang magiging mundo niyo sa Katipunan. Hehehe.

ito tlga e

2005-03-12T13:21:00.000+08:00

wala na tlgang gaganda dito sa skin na to..buti na lang, love ko si ann kaya ko nakita tong blogskin na to..hehehe.

2005-03-08T17:41:00.000+08:00

After I took a bath, I found myself staring at the mirror (what’s new?) and remembered some anonymous somebody’s post at my tagboard.

E, alam mo naman palang hopeless e.. bat mo pa finiflirt?

And I thought about it. I thought about it. I pulled up my panties, and locked my bra. But still, I was thinking about it. What is there in hopelessness that challenges us? that keeps us living? That keeps us waitng and hoping and condemning ourselves into a whirlwind of pain and despair? And there, it struck me.

Because even hopelessness offers a chance, even if that chance is 10 to the negative infinity. Though it seems that I don’t have an answer to that question by that tagger, I do have a question to answer that question. To the person whom I owe the question above(and to all of you as well), im gonna ask you this.

Imagine you’re at the foot of a ladder. At the top of that ladder, there stands a bucket of a million dollars, or anything you want(Brad Pitt, a titulo, a Mazda 3, or love). There it is, all yours for the taking. You just have to climb the 8-step ladder to get it. But, the ladder seems to be the worst of ladders. A hundred years old, all worn out, some rungs missing, and the steps creaky at the slightest step. It is almost an impossible feat.

But, you know that love waits you there. Or That your Mazda 3 car keys are there. Or that your title to a house and lot is there. All you have to take are 8 scary steps, and you win. wouldn’t you take those steps, even if every step is a risk? Wouldn’t you muster up everything to do the seemingly impossible? Wouldn’t you try and try after every fall until the bruises take its toll on you?

If something you want the most is on the line, would you stop trying to get it just because it is hopeless?

Please don’t tell me you would.
I wont believe you..

presh's bday blast

2005-03-06T16:04:00.000+08:00

ang saya ng bday ni preshie. simple pero angsaya. nag-enjoy tlga ko. though i cudnt stay for the disco kase mejo late na nagsimula(hay, so presh). sum things from last night have been stuck in my head:

1. wacky face: (group of Kulasas) o wacky, wacky.. Hindi e. ung isang kulasa, si Mau ata un. amazing ung ideya niya ng wacky face. mula sa im-dropdead-gorgeous na face, nagawa niyang naka-roll out yung tongue,tapos ung isang mata duling while ung isang mata was just looking straight ahead. i kept thinking about it on my way home. Amazing.

2. Dahil ikaw ay talagang tunay na prinsesa: Marry me, marry me. Iyan ang sinisigaw ng mukha ni Presh nung kinakanta ni CJ ung PRinsesa.ang weird, para talagang minimean niya ung song for presh. hahaha..galing tlga mag-gitara ni CJ.

3:sensor breakdown: Hay, bumigay ang sensor ko sa mga KUlasa. presh nman e! promise tlga? wala akong kadugo sa mga sinabi ko sayo? damn, im so disappointeeed.

4.BArbie birthday cake:Simple lang ung cake pero the Barbies made it several notches more special. ang kyukyut nung mga Barbie. kso parang 18 taon ding hindi nasuklayan. ( :

5. Presh: Iv never seen my buddy that girlalu ever! parang sa 2 sems naming magkasama, wala. with the curly hair and off-shoulder gown, presh wasnt just pretty. she was stunning. and she was smiling all throughout the night. so ion.

angsaya, ket nasira-sira ko ung buhok ni jean kakaplantsa. hehe.ayun, bsta. eto nga pineprepare namin bday ni katrina. excited na ko.

semi-baked m.p.

2005-03-04T16:24:00.000+08:00

ngayon lang ulit ako magrarant at magkekwento..kaya pwede pabayaan niyo na ko!
(haha..bitter tone ba daw?)

eun, may naacomplish ako sa m.p. pero hindi ko nameet lahat ng mp specs.hmm. paks ka presh. tamad mo tlga di ka gumawa..nyahaha! eun, interbyu ko pla ngyon.. wla e..mabango na ko sa sabon ni ate mary at ate apple. haynku, nalu2ngkot ako pero totoo tlga. wala akong kwentang app. naiinis tuloy ako sa sarili ko. pramis tlga babawi nako in the weeks to come. putulin niyo kamay ko pag hindi..
(bitter mode: strike 2)

birthday na ni presh bukas..ang request niya dapat maganda kami ni jean..nyehehe..feeling 5-star ka presh ano..hehehe. i hope ul av a blast tomorrow..as in masaya. e alam ko naman masaya, andun ba naman si CJ e.(Christina Jean?)hululz.CJ boy: Ceasar Vincent sumthing-sumthing Jr. hehehe..buti pa si presh, andun si CJ sa bday niya.
(anu ba? bitter strike 3 na a!)

hay anmiss ko magrant.pinagbawalan ko kasi ang sarili kong magblog explicitly e..eun, ge..bahala na sa mp.anaknampowta. sawi na ako sa lahat!
(bitter mode: strike 4!)

im so out.

wag kang lalayo

2005-03-01T21:49:00.000+08:00

wag kang lalayo. kung ayaw mong lumapit, edi wag. pero wag kang lalayo. dahil hindi pako tapos. hindi mo pa nakikita ang lahat. hindi pa kita naipaglalaban. wag mo namang iparamdam na multo na lang ako sa yo ngayon:isang masamang ispirito galing sa nakaraan. kung ayaw mo kong mahalin,edi wag. pero wag mo kong kamuhian. wag mo kong isakdal sa gabundok na dusa at paranoia. dahil iyan na ang buhay ko simula nang naisip kong mahal kita. siguro sinasabi mo, kung ayaw ko ng dusa, bakit pa ako bumalik? bakit pa ak nambulabog? ibabalik ko sa iyo ang tanong. bakit ang gamot, kahit mapait, iniinom? bakit ang elevator kahit nakakahilo sinasakyan? wala ako kung wala ka. sapat na bang sagot iyon?

teka, alam ko,parating na sha.saglit na lang.5 minutes. bakit bigla kang hindi nagparamdam? oo, wala kong karapatan. pero, para naman akong tinamaan ng pingpong sa disappearing act na ginawa mo.ang saya na e.maayos na. kahit hindi tama. siguro nga kaya ka lumalayo.kasi hindi tama.pwede,pero bawal. kung ayaw mo,edi wag.pero sana sinasabi mo.hindi iyong para kong lobong lumipad sa hangin, naiwan sa ere, at bigla nalang pumutok, at lantang lumagapak sa lupa.

oh,shiyet.nagpang-abot pa.parating na si girlalu.
takbo..bilis..crack..

ngayon pa ko natapilok.

kailangan ko pang makitang halikan ka niya.kailangan ko pang marinig na sabihan ka niya ng +mahal kita+. kailangan ko pang maiwan dito habang dinadala ka ni girlalu palayo sa akin.

leche kang lalaki ka, malas ka sa buhay ko.
pero parang awa mo na, huwag kang lalayo...

lie, cheat, steal

2005-02-27T19:20:00.000+08:00

How do you steal a heart?

Do you spread balloons on his bedroom floor?Do you conspire with his best bud to load up his car with goodies and surprise him on Valentine's Day? Do you call up the pizza shop to deliver a pizza with an "i love you" spelled in pepperoni? Do you spell his name in glowsticks that stand out in the cold dark night? Do you take him to the rooftop and tell him that you'd rather stare at his eyes than be marveled by the sight of Makati lights? Do you have to tell him that you like him? Do you look into his eyes, take him by the waist, and kiss him? Do you stay up until he sleeps and pretend you're sick so that you'll be the perfect girl, even for a fleeting moment? and, yes, do you tell him that he's perfect even if he's impatient, hot-tempered and downright mean to his stepsister? Do you ache for him, think about him every single day, whether youre in Chem class or in your car? Do you sing him songs that you worked so hard to play? do you check out his friendster account, see what his favorite shades of blue are, and buy him blue things kept in a little blue box? Do you text him, even if it means that you have to walk a good 50 meters to get to the nearest loading station? Do you have to love him, while he loves somebody else? Do you have to withstand the pain, the longing, the brokenheartedness to steal his heart?Do you have to make your heart devoid of any feeling?

oh yes. he is worth a lot..

but then again, you are too..

Now tell me, is stealing his heart worth losing yours?

a new tattoo by urbandub

2005-02-27T12:20:00.000+08:00

Great moments they pass by
If you’re careless
Desperately trying to speak the words
I’ve been wanting to say for a long time.
Tongue tied, every time i try to talk to you
In time, i’ll find the right line.

Caught a glimpse of you
I tremble every time you walk by
Hopelessly trying to find a way
To be near you, to get near you.
In my mind, plays thoughts of you all the time
I’ll find the right line…

I’ll bleed for you
Like a new tattoo in my heart
You’ll stay permanent…

Am i too late now?
Will i find a way to get to you somehow?
She’s breaking me down again
She’s breaking me down
She’s breaking me down again

I’ll bleed for you
Like a new tattoo in my heart
You’ll stay permanent…

princesses reloaded

2005-02-27T11:30:00.000+08:00

san ka pa?

girly si jeany

tarooosH!

sad ka?

hindi kaya ako sad.

princesses reloaded

birthday girl

perfect bestfriend

madilim e..

jean's blog has a lot more pix e.. i hope u had fun, maki. thanks for the invite. iloveyou!

2005-02-25T17:42:00.000+08:00

I really got it bad.

Know why?

Because I walked home from Tipol today, with a glass of coffee ice in my hand. I so don’t do this, unless I really want to think; think about everything; past events, present situations and future plans. It felt good. Passing by the pseudomansion at the foot of the bridge. Looking at the view of the sea that seems so far away. Watching the sky turn orange. I was filled with a sense of nostalgia; a deep longing to turn back time and get my ass back in high school. If I were thrown back to my high school days, I would do everything I forgot to do. I would walk home everyday. I would get into the nerves of all the teachers. And, yes, I would fall in love with all the people I so want to fall in love with. Oh, yes, including him. But, all that is done now. And I am so full of regrets that I just want to breakdown, stop time, cry and sleep all day for a month..

Bitterness personified.
Damn, I really got it bad.

parang chem16 ang buhay

2005-02-24T20:23:00.000+08:00

+2 moles hydrogen +1 mol oxygen equals what?+ Parang bulong na lang ang mga pinagsasabi ni Miss. +To balance a redox reaction, you must..+ nilalabanan ko ang antok. Kailangang labanan. +Hydrogen to the oxygen-deficient..+ sinulat ko ang pangalan mo sa armchair. +Cancel the charges, then simplify..+ bad choice. Lalo lang kitang naisip. Diyos ko, huwag naman pati dito sa chem Class maiyak ako. +Hund’s Rule states that like charges reject each other.+ Anong alam ng mga hinayupak na charges sa rejection? Naranasan na ba nilang iwan sa ilalim ng ulan? Na pagkatapos gamitin at gantihan, basta-basta na lang aalisan at babalewalain? +..the up spin electrons before the down spin ones.+ Aba, pati pala mga charges may ups and downs din. Akala ko ang tao lang ang magulo ang buhay: iyong isang araw kang palalasapin ng hindi mapantayang saya bago ka ilagpak sa isang buwang kalungkutan. +There exists a hierarchy of orbitals, each with its own energy level.+ Malas mo na lang kapag napagod ka nang hindi nakukuha ang gusto mo. Napakadaling sabihing hindi ka susuko, na kakayanin mong lahat. +Electrons tend to lose energy..+ Pero kapag sunud-sunod na ang mga palya at pagkakamali, parang ang hirap panindigan na hindi ka susuko. Prang mas madali na lang mag-isa sa buhay. +Some elements like Fluorine,class, madadamot. Hindi nagshe-share.+ Tanga naman niya kapag shinare niya sa iba. Nasa kanya na nga, papakawalan pa. oo, tanga na ko dati. Oo na. tanggap ko na..Na forever na akong ganito..+A system changes, as long as it has not yet reached equilibrium.+ Sana ako din. Dahil ayokong maging masaklap habang buhay.

+Okay class. We’ll have a short quiz.+
Tang-ina.

Ten things that make me happy

2005-02-23T13:05:00.000+08:00

10. Gulaman

Be it bad,good, red, green, orange, banana-ish, dirty, clean. I love gulaman, especially the one without the gulaman(sorry, weird ako).. People get their depressions over with a Venti Starbucks frappe..i like frappe. But, for me, all it takes is a glass of Math gulaman to wash it all away. Over a glass of gulaman, Jean and I talk about every little thing thats been bothering us. The greatest of plans were devised over a glass of gulaman..

9. Monay and Cheese

There was one time that when I got to school, there was no monay vendor in sight. I threw tantrums. I don’t know what it is with the monay. It is just a breast-shaped bread and a thin slab of cheese. I’d rather eat monay than get a full meal in CS or in Casaa. I am a monay addict. I eat it every other day, and never get tired of it.

8. NBA Live with my Brother

Yeah, I always win. The last time I checked, it was a 3-2 slate, in favor of me. I only lose when I choose the loser teams. But, when it’s a best-to-best battle, his chances of winning are lightyears away. it just hypes me up that I beat my brother in something that is so for-the-guys.

7. bumming around with dzhot

We dont do this often nowadays, with her being busy about a hell of a lot of stuff. I miss those times,pare. When we would watch TV together, when we would sleep on her then-broken bed, and have back spasms when we wake up. Well, every moment with dzhot is a happy one. And Im missing them.

6. FX trips

Theyre tiring and long. I reach home after 2 hours; almost twice as long as an MRT trip. But, I find myself choosing the FX trip home rather than the train. I look forward to Tuesday when I go home with one of the best(est) people in the world: Jean. We talk about a lot of stuff, her guilt-tripping me about the chances I lost, keeping my hopes up, and filling my mind with the most outrageous make-him-love-you schemes. They turn out kinda bastos sometimes pwo, I think theyd work.

5. My kid cousins

Last Christmas break, I remember, I got so bitter because,for the nth time, I lost a chance at love. I got so bitter, that I needed to escape the city life fast. So, I went to Batangas and spent three days there. I played Junior scrabble and Monopoly with 6-9 year old kids. It was amazing that it took 6 naughty restless kids to make me forget every little worry I had.

4. Teeny bopper movies

Win a date with Tad Hamilton, Chasing Liberty, Along Came Polly, The Lizzie McGuire Movie, Mean Girls.. Name it, Ive probably watched it. Dont think Im this wannabe-blondie who cares about nothing but the superficial. I have my doses of sensible movies every now and then. But, when I want to feel happy, nothing beats a feel-good movie.

3.Posts on my tagboard
It always is a pleasant surprise to see people whom you thought erased you from their memories tag at your blog and say hi. Thats why I make it a pt. to reply to every single one of them, because it makes me smile thinking that they took the time to visit my blog when they should’ve done other important things(like taking a bath or writing a love letter, perhaps.)

2. Will and Grace

Funny, witty, downright gay. I have to watch at least one Will and Grace episode, whether it be the 730 one or the 1130 one. Otherwise, my day is not complete. I only study after the 730 Will and Grace. It’s funny. Even if I had a really really bad day, all I have to do is watch Debra Messing do her crazy antics and after 30 minutes, I’m fine.

1. People who care(and I mean, really care..)

Theyre not the ones who text you miss yous and I cares and then leave you hanging. Theyre not those who nag you, telling you to eat, or sleep, or do this or that. Theyre not those who tell you youre special, or different, but never really show it. Theyre not those who conjure a disappearing act when youre in deep sh*t. Theyre not those who are sweet to you today, then aloof and cold tomorrow.

Theyre the ones who tell you in your face that youre wrong when you are, but love you anyway. Theyre the ones who get tired of your loser stories but still listen to them. When youre down, they dont ask what they can do for you, because they already know what they can do. Theyd rather hurt you with the truth, than make you feel better with lies. theyd be there for you always, helping you up. They dont have to tell you they care or they miss you. They dont have to tell you to sleep or eat or study or go home. Because, they know youre big enough to not eat, not sleep, or not go home. theyre the ones who dont tell you how much they love you, because, heck, they know theyve shown you that that from the start.

Them, they’re the ones who really care.

Yeah, I need lovelives. I need a significant other. I need to be hugged and kissed and cuddled. I need to pass my acads. But, when I need to be happy, all I need are ten things..

patay ako..dpako umuuwe

2005-02-20T15:24:00.000+08:00

hahaha..wala lang, eun basta..c cima asa surigao na..woohoo! good luck cima. inggit ako shet..nyehehe..tanginers, gusto ko na magbakasyon..haynko, i wana soak up the sun sa beach or bum around with friends.. i want my sem-break lyf back.. do anything, anywhere..

well, eun, im hapy for you, 'by..malapit na keong magkabalikan..hehehe..wlang bitterness.. im hapy for u.. +naks, umaakyat na tlga ang mga tao sa langit..sacrifice to the nth limit ito!+

haha..pare, ayoko na...ayoko na..ayoko na...

pero,tanginers, nlun2ngkot ako.. nyohoho..

this song's stuck in my head

2005-02-19T17:29:00.000+08:00

tanginers, ang jologs..this song's stuck in my head...

I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

I know that you are something special
To you I'd be always faithful
I want to be what you always needed
Then I hope you'll see the heart in me

I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I want to chase
You're the one I want to hold
I won't let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

*lalo na tong part na ito...*
You might need time to think it over
But I'm just fine moving forward
I'll ease your mind
If you give me the chance
I will never make you cry
C'mon let's try

Am I crazy for wanting you?
Maybe do you think you could want me too?
I don't wanna waste your time
Do you see things the way I do?
I just wanna know if you feel it too
There is nothing left to hide

fuck, di ba..so cheesy.."BEautiful Soul"..hehehe..

* * * *

Depressing. This has been the 29th time i have thought of u while eating a piece of choco-honey dipped donut. I watch the people pass me by: couples holding hands, exchanging dreamy-eyed glances. And I remembered all those times that i almost had your love, but never did. For you, it was all for fun; the kisses under the moonlight, the warm embraces on the balcony, every little thing.

It was all going well, until she came back and swept you off your feet. She hurt u before. I never did. She was never there when you needed her. I was. She was the past love that you always wanted but never had. I was the past love you always had, and always will have. But, life's a bucket of unlikely choices. You made the choice. You looked me straight in the eyes and made your choice...

A teardrop falls on what was left of the choco-honey dipped donut. It was hard for me. Real hard.

But, beneath the tears, I'm happy, because you are...

* * * *

haha..upcat results are out. sa mga nakapasa, saan mang lupalop ng bansa, astig ka! ISkolar ka na ng bayan... iyong mga Dilimaners, nkow, lalong astig ka! hehe.. nakakatuwa si ayrie, ang sabi sa kin. dapat daw ung mga nakapsang EEE lagyan ng "PARE, ANG MALAS MO!" sa dulo.. prepare for hell..hehehe..masaya sa u.p. sobrang worth it.(:

punta pako sa bday ni fhatz..hehe..tipol reunion..(- -,)

dko nnmn maintindihan

2005-02-18T17:10:00.000+08:00

onse nanamn..dko nnman maintindihan ung lesson.so blog na lang ako..waah..gusto kong magpakalunod sa sweets.antidepressant...i need one..nagdedepress-depressan nanamn ako..haay, kalimutan na nga ang bad vibes.it's a happy day.. dahil happy si rej at punk.nyohoho..inggit sa bestfriend..going strong. disorganized thoughts na naman..
im all alone in the darkness nanaman dito sa lab namin..hehehe..

i was supposed to write a kuno-chick-lit na story. but i decided against it..la pla ko sa mood..hehehe..ciaoie, dear bloggie!

yipee!pasado si presh sa chem..

2005-02-17T14:43:00.000+08:00

pasado si presh sa chem. i told her so.mas mataas pa sha sakin..tas kala mo kung cnong makaiyak..hehe..*hug* eun ngayon ko lang na-upload ung paper namin sa eng10. hehe.. shet, 18 na bukas. ano b nman? may 2 araw nanaman ako para mag-cram ng aaralen..argh!!! delinquente ako.. delinquente.. eun, fhatz! hapy birthday! tine, hapy birthday! rejy, my perfect bestfrnd in the whole wide world..hapi! ilang months na ba? tngna neto, u lost count na..tsk2..mean girl..

eun, tgal ni presh..me kinuha sa tambayan..wahehe..mejo mga wlang kwenta entries ko ngyn.di ako inspired gumawa ng kung anu-anong basurang chick lit e..chick lit? bubblegum un di ba? hehehe.. wala lang..di n kasi ko naiiyak mashado..di tulad last month na prang 2 weeks ata kong bitter.. pero ngyon, okay na..gusto ko nga magkabalikan na sila nung kupal na un..ket sinaktan sha dati, nkkta ko namang masaya siya.. kaya gusto ko magkabalikan sila ulit. (wooh, tumataas na ang mga tao..naisasalba ko na ang sanlibutan dahil sa sakripisyo kong ito...) hehehe..ika nga ni presh, "wag kamutin ang matagal nang makati"...tanginers,watever that means..haha.. tama ba namang through the fire ang tugtog dito? hahaha..okay..

test nanaman sa 19.tanginers, bbgsak nnmn akong programing..wahahah..nakakainis..sana naman pumasa na ako..kasi basta..ayokong umulit ng eee11!!! UPCAT results na..tanginers, araw-araw na lang nattsismis na may results na tpos lagi namang wala..

hay basta..wateverness..rej, hapi monthsary ulit for tomorrow! alam mo mis na kita at mahal na mahal kita..tangina mo, nami2s ko na ung mga swing-lait moments nten at ung compspec sessions natin na wla tyong pinagusapan kundi who's hot and who's not sa Hollywood. nami2s ko na ung ili2bre mo ko sa mcdo o kaya sa plaza. ung pag may nanggogoyo saking chuba, sinasabihan mong tawanan ko nalang. na pag lumalandi ako, number 1 kunsintidora ka. at naiintindihan mo ko kapag ayaw kong sabihin ang totoo..naiintindhan mong hindi pagsisinungaling ang pagtago sa katotohanan.. bsta, stuff na genon..

hay..wla lng..

dito nanaman...

2005-02-16T19:11:00.000+08:00

every other day, andito ak..huwala lng..hehehe.. o di ba? hehehe..eun wla nmang blogworthy na nanyare. except na, tanginers, ang hirap ng eee31. as in..parang parusa ito sa hindi pag-aaral. at may plano pa kong manood ng concert kagabi. anak ng..tlga..hehehe..eun, wla lng tlga..

ngyn ko lng nalaman na andami ko plang fans..hehe..andami nagbabasa ng blog ko..hehehe.. ansaya..sana nagtatag kyo pag pupunta kyo, pra naman makilala ko kayo. freedom board naman ian.. ket ano pwede nyo sabihin.. wag lang "ampangit mo,brij"...hehe..

happy..happy..happy..(--,)

sad sunday//mushy monday

2005-02-15T01:29:00.000+08:00

ano ba? emotional balance to the next level ba ito? well, sad sunday muna.

okay, indoc muna..emotionally-draining at physically tiring.

1st stop: 60-second squat.-or shud i say 60-slow-count squat. thanks, karen. (: hehe.. sobrang nakakangalay. i had to stand up straight every three seconds. my joints were rusty. i havent been doing strenuous activities for this sem. tpos biglang gnun? juice ko.

2nd stop: another 60-second squat. thanks, daryl. ure late. so pahirapan nanaman ito. slow count. nanginginig na tlga tuhod ko sa sobrang ngalay. it felt like lahat ng kuryente sa katawan ko focused on making my knees weak.

3rd stop: Design-a-tambayan-we won. hooray. we had the worst set of materials. but we won the activity. we made use of crayons for table legs, colored pens for support and water color for the base and backbone. cool. one bonus point.

4th stop: yes! humabol pa si earl paolo. wooohooo.. 50 squattras, ano po? parang gulay na ung mga binti ko. tpos ganito pa..hay nman.

5th stop: paint a picture. loserness kami dito. pero we tried our best naman e. we got a point. but it was a far cry dun sa 7 points nung isang group.

6th stop: lunch-ginisang ampalaya. square meal ito. parang preso. our hands were tied to the hands of our seatmates. so we had to scrifice one of our hands para makakain lahat. challenge. masarap ang ginisang ampalaya ni mayette.

7th stop: duckwalk. shet! super bummer of the day. we had to duck walk for a good 45 minutes,holding on to each other by the waist. and with ARM mems shouting at us, trying to beat the sound of regie's claps. at one point, i was on my knees na..i was actually walking on my knees dahil super stressed na ng binti ko. every second na may maiinjure, nagpapasalamat ako kasi makakapagpahinga na ako kahit saglit.

8th stop: people pass- we used to do this in tipol, so i know na how it went. naglider-lideran ako. haha..we all pitched in. nabuhat namin si injured regie.galing galing! at may hawak pa kaming mga eggs pagtawid. so ang saya tlga.

9th stop: backstabbing- we had to tear the papers on our co-apps' backs kasi 18 lang ang kailangan matira or else wlang matatanggap.after 20 minutes buo pa din lahat ng papel namin. nag-iyak pa si mayette na we went daw together, we're gonna exit together. cool. we ol had an invite for the interview..hehe.

c presh..pok-pok..grabe. nagpagahasa sa lalaki..hahaha.. pero totoo naman masarap naman mang-kiss di ba presh? kahit third wheel, kahit legal, kahit ano..basta kiss hahaha..

okay, favorite part: MUSHY MONDAY!!!

so,well. iv plannd this for one week. and i was glad things went out perfectly, down to the last detail. well, except for the things i should have said. nalunok ko ng lahat sa sobrang kaba. hahaha. hirap mag-blow ng green balloons. our pump broke down after about 15 balloons. so we had to blow the rest by mouth. hirap din magtago at takasan ang mga mapanuring mata. kapagod i-transfer ang mga balloons sa room niya. mahirap ilatag sa sahig. mahirap pumili ng kanta. dapt nga "chikinini" ung song..haha, dba trix? pero we agreed on the song "sorry for 2004".o diba? swak. hehe. hirap din mag-isip kung saan uupo, anong gagawin habang naghihintay. tanginers, headache to death. but, i blew the last balloon kahit pagod na ko. there was also a little box na puro green stuff. shet, green overload. hahaha. thump-thump-thump na naman ang heart ko e. haha.. funny. this is the first sweet thing iv ever done ever. i wasnt able to say anything substantial. nagagalak lang ako, kaya feel ko lang ngumiti na lang forever. kasi..i was happy. masaya din siya. abay hindi ba masaya un?
tpos, sa rooftop, semi-antipolo ang dating. anlamig pa ng hangin. (--,) i saw makati! city lights. super. it was paranaque seen in a different way. i cud care less if it were a starless night. i cud care less if there were no candles to light the night. argh..i cud care less about anything. it was happy. it was cold.

it was perfect.

NOTES:

c trix kamuka ni chuckie nung baby xa. "Hi, Im Trixie..wana play?"
huggable ka, trish!
c jinggay ay kapuso ko pala.
hindi lang ako ang flirt.
hindi na pala ko flirt.
masarap palang mag semi-change(semi lang..may mali pa din sa ginagawa ko e.)
go go go lang..wala namang mawawala.

nagbago na tlga ko..kesejodang iharap niyo pa sa akin silang lahat, wala na..waepeks.. promise! bumalik pa kyong lahat..hahaha..hindi na no!

THANKS: jean,jinggay,trix,dianne, me,ces, everyone.lahat ng kunsintidora.presh.(--,)

happy..cheber..

2005-02-13T06:25:00.000+08:00

eun, pumunta kaming kina jinggay kahapon.. nagsama-sama ang mga third wheel..hahaha.. kakatuwa nman sina jinggay at jeany. basta.. hay, i saw trish der. shempre naman. aalis ba ko don ng di xa nakkta.. shempre naman hndi. *blush* hay, tanginers si anna, nanlalag-lag. dahil sinabi niya, sige, favorite song ko na ang "You'll Be Safe Here". humanda ka.. sa harap ni jestle kita lalaglag, akala mo.. *evil laugh*

happy day..kahit late na ako nkauwe, kahit late nko nkatulog, kahit ang aga ko nagcng for skul.
wlang epek, kahit pa anong gawin sa indoc..

im hapy..(--,)

dumaan lang

2005-02-12T13:56:00.000+08:00

hay, me chem exams ako ng mga 3 e supe aga pa e..daan lang hahaha..eun mejo malungkot ako kgabe..sum stuff sed..pero hay, wateverness, girl on the outside na naman..di naba ko nasanay? haha..but jean made me feel a wee bit better..so okay nko ngyon..though im sweating kakahanap ng atm..argh..

anyway, im making a new frendster account..so i..gotta go..

2005-02-11T15:39:00.000+08:00

argh! bakit, of all days, sa february 14 pa tutugtog ang parokya, sandwich,sugarfree sa school at ipapalabas ang 'amelie' sa film centr? bat naman gnun,juiceko. tanginers sa timing.

well i guess i hafta miss out on the good things to savor the better ones. nyahahay.

eun nga andto ako sa eee11 lab.abuso sa lab fee e no..ginawa naman kaming librarian ng bago naming MP. abay gagawa kami ng program to catalog a list of 50 books. parng computerizd search ba. prang ma'am, ECE po kami. hindi library Science, ano po. c jean at c ces sabay uuwe ngyon..waah! i wna go home na..may gen meet pa mamaya..huhuhu.. ayoko na.. amg-aaral pa kong chem paguwi at paggising bukas ng umaga. anakanang. bat nman kasi pagsapit ng alas-diyes e inaantok na ako.. wala tuloy ako maacomplish.haynko, kahit hindi curfew ang ten, tlgang nagiging tanga na utak ko.. wala nang naiintindhan.*kaya kung gusto niyong humingi ng malaking favor, huntingin niyo ko ng mga 10 pm onwards.malamang hindi ako mkakahindi*

cge,jeany..manood ka ng luv-A fair. ano ba nmn ako syo diba? hoy bungee run tyo sa fair.hahaha..bakit nga ba bungee run lang? walang bungee jump? hoy bat walang bungee jump? i want to bungee.nyahaha.. correction: i wish i were brave enough to bungee.. dko alam kung tama ung mga ispeling ko. anakang naman kasi e no.. malabo na ung screen, font size 8 pa ung letters. argh..

nku, nagpromise pla kong bisitahin ang aking perfect bestfrend e magbibirthday na pla si maki sa 26 at si fhatz sa 19 na. tpos si presh sa march 5. hahahay nku tlga. pgod na ako.

i wana go home.

2005-02-09T10:20:00.000+08:00

one of the few i cud smile and cry with.

love talk with jeany oprah

2005-02-09T09:28:00.000+08:00

jean(while we were walking home):nakakadishearten ung gnun no?

and dat started everything. the love stories from 10-1130. p.m.,guys, p.m. hehe.. after that, i resoved not to dig up the past anymore. at may bawal nang phrase: "kung siguro dati.." di na pwede sabihin yon.haha. my head kinda aches right now. 1240 nko natulog. hay,nakng. an idea came up kasi and i had to text jeany in a flash. (--,)

mariel,she's so not worth it pala e.y bother pa making balik?alam mo ang mga binabalikan lang at pinaghihirapan ay iyong mga worthy mahalin at pasayahin. so if bea's not worth it, for heaven's sake, just get a move on..

o wel i stil havta do my m.e. so i haf no time to waste..kahit for blogging pa..hehe..

the anatomy of tears

2005-02-08T20:27:00.000+08:00

the easiest thng to make in this world are tears:real hot tears. you just have to sit down in front of your beloved computer, search him on the Internet, and find that picture of him hugging his girlfriend. that's the stimulus you're waiting for; the external force to trigger the pretending-to-be-dormant emotional turmoil you've been keeping inside you. as you read on their iloveyou's and girl-boy-in-love whatnot's, you feel your heart stinging, as if a thousand syringes were striking it all at the same time. like any other machine or working device, the heart could only hold so much load. it tires. it gives up and breaks down.the then slightly painful sting of a thousand syringes suddenly feel like a thousand drill machines,trying incessantly to pierce your already-weary heart. the heart is tired. it has to find relief by passing the load to something else. in the case of tears, it passes the stimulus for pain to the throat. the stimulus resides there, forming a lump that the esophagus could not gulp down, even with the help of peristalsis and gravity. it defies every force and fights hard to come out. the reflex is to gulp it down some more,bite your lips if you have to. even if it chokes you, even if it strangles you, even if it feels like a rock on your neck. you have to keep it down, lest you want water and salt to flow where you dont want to. but, like the heart, you can only fight it back for so long. after a while, you have to succumb to the unwavering stimulus. it does not come out of your mouth. it chooses to rise up to your eyes, and fits itself into a hole as small as the eye of the needle. this is such so the pain is conserved. so they just wont flow. you have to force them out. the stimulus of pain is still there. the salt in the teardrops make your eyes feel the sting your heart felt. every tear is torture.sometimes, you even have to shut your eyes to let them out of your system. they come one by one for a few seconds.then,they fill your eyes to the brim, that when you look at the computer, you can't see his face anymore..all you see is a blur;a blur of a pink-shirted girl and the spiky hair you so love about him. the tears are, at last, freed. they roll down your cheeks,into your lips. with a last revenge, they touch your mouth to make you taste the saltiness caused by your aching heart.

then relief comes in the shoulder of a friend.

disorganized

2005-02-08T19:29:00.000+08:00

ate lunch with jean and paudev in katipunan..sa shakey's..her treat.. angkulit! we cut our classes sa sobrng gusto naming magdaldalan.well it was worth missing my physics.wla lng..eun, namis ko nga c paudev.. hehe..wala lang..

eun kausap ko si trish sa phone..haha..wla lng..eun wla ko masabi..grabe..hahaha..(--,) ovius bang sobrang disorganized ng thoughts ko..anak ng tipaklong..marami sila mashado.. hehehe.. eun, nkakainis ung will and grace..replay.. crush ko si will...certified hottie..hehe.. wala akong kwenta..napaghahalatang wala akong masabi..

************

nag-divi pala kami ni jeany to buy sum important stuff. kapagod. nung sunday un, hay. may bago kaming words na natutunan. coin ferst: lalagyanan ng barya. fussel: tatak ng mamahaling wristwatch. napabuga nanaman kami ng tawang hangin ni jeany.

sa sunday afternoon, stayed at claret with nowee, waiting for the other debaters. haha..nothng much. went home at, well, mga 730 ata..hehe..nagawa ko nmn lab report ko so okay lng.
***********

dapat pupunta kami kina jinggay ngyon. e kso umalis sha..so, naglungkut-lungkutan ako at nagtamlay-tamlayan..kaya eun, dito nlng kami kina kat..on our way here, jeany and i talkd about sum senior stuff..ung mga pinaggagawa sa akin ng mga tao..haha..(: and i realized, loser nga tlga ako..hay..stupid,stupid, stupid to the nth limit. o well, ders no point in remorse-ing. (nyak, imbentong word:remorse-ing). may word bang "remorsing"? never heard. haynko, sinusulit nnmn namin ang DSL ni katrina.wel wats new, lgi namn e..hehe..

**********
sad thng:
anna: brij, a-add ko si trish..
brij:sige, tignan mo na lang sa friendster page ko.
anna:may testi ba xa syo?
brij: oo, maaga un, mga page 2 siguro.
(naubos na ung testi pages ko)
anna:brij wla.
brij: tignan nga. cge, tignan ntn friends ko.
(hinanap ko page 6:my S and T friends)
brij: t*ng ina, wla nga!!!

tas un, na-sad ako. *sniff* (--:)

***********
wala na tlga ko maisip sabihin e..wlang love topic to write about. wlang love sitch to rant about. walang sad love to cry about. hAy bat ba puro love?

wel, gnyan tlga..

p.s. ces! salamat sa testi..hehe..( : love na kita dahil sa tinext mo..nyahaha..tae vs. tao..punchline ko na ian!hehe..

2005-02-05T16:43:00.000+08:00

*ranting mode*

for a moment here, im gna forget my writing talent..
and say one fucked-up thing..

I WON'T FRIENDSTER-HOP ANYMORE..

dahil the last thing i visit is always her page..
and i dont wana read it..
i wana pretend na i dont care...
but i cant help it..

because i do care..

2005-02-05T15:28:00.000+08:00

i woke up today feeling the same old brand new feeling of thinking about the same old brand new person who, for four years, has been same old brand new great. i got out of bed in my same old brand new panties, holding my same old brand new cellphone in one hand and my same old brand new Tigger stuffed toy,which reminds of some same old brand new fling i had in the past, on the other.

it was a same old brand new morning, with same old brand new breakfast. i watched The same old brand new Will and Grace, which i love so much by the way. then another same old brand new we-cudve-been-together person texts a same old brand new quote iv heard about almost a dozen times now. and i sed the same old brand new things, texted the same old brand new punch lines.

i lied down and played the same old brand new P.S.2 game. then, i played my same old brand new guitar. and watched the same old brand new Ben Stiller.

everything's so same old brand new...

and i think of YOU..
and heck,everything's not so same old after all..
just brand new..
just brand new..

just..brand..new..

mean time girl,itaas mo ang gitnang daliri!

2005-02-04T19:53:00.000+08:00

para sa iyo to, ikaw na:

nasasaktan sa tuwing makikita mo shang naghahanap ng girlfriend.
iniindiyan niya kapag napasagot niya iyong long-time crush niya
nakita na ang pinakakadiri,pinakamasama at pinakamagulong parte ng buhay niya
na kahit maganda,hindi niya pinapansin.
na hanggang kaibigan lang.
na pumapayag na hindi siya kunsistent sa pagiging sweet.
na maganda, matalino at superkulit,pero hindi niya magiging girlfriend.
na simple lang at hindi papansin, pero gusto ring maging importante.
na iniiyakan, nirereklamuhan, ginagawang sounding board, punching bag at comforter ngunit kailanman hindi magiging french kiss partner.
na nagmamahal ng taong mahal ka ngunit hindi iyong pagmamahal na kailangan mo mula sa kanya.

itaas mo ang gitnang daliri mo sa knya dahil natitiis mo ang katotohanang kahit ikaw na ang perpektong babae, hndi pa rin mahulog ang loob niya sa iyo. itaas mo ang gitnang daliri mo sa knya dahil hindi niya alam kung gaano karaming luha ang sinasayang mo gabi-gabi. itaas mo ang gitnang daliri mo sa knya dahil ginawa mo na ang lahat,pero iniindiyan ka pa din niya at dagling ipagpapalit sa long-time crush niyang wala namang alam sa buhay.

sige lang, itaas mo,bilang pagbabanta, na hndi habang buhay, you'll be around.

done with my m.p.

2005-02-04T13:26:00.000+08:00

finally, no more int's and void's for two weeks..haha..woohoo!sana lang tama ung mga pinagagawa ko ano?ahehe..aun.. love ko si ces kgbe. katext ko sha..at naku! isa pang kunsintidora!nagbago na tlga ko,guys. so i nid ol the kunsintidoras i could posibly get.

nku, valentine's na.as usual, as everybody exchange their mushy dooby-doos and their romantic candle-lit dinners, il be at home or somewhere treating myself to dinner or watchng a movie, or perhaps perhaps, making that one person happy. well, it's most likely na im gna do the last thing i sed. haha. pero then again pag tinamad..

wala kong klas buong araw. e actually meron, English10. pero tinamad na ko pumasok. dzhot and i wandered around UPV today, from 8-9 am. we even reached the part na konti na lang Cubao na. twas fun. dzhot was in her short shorts pa non. tas der were many tricycle drivers pa. weetweew tlga!haha.. tpos after non, we ate brunch.katamaran ni margarita. 1130 na gumcng. tpos nung papunta nang skul, ang cbi, "nanghihinayang ako sa oras"..anak ng..bomalabs!

MALI-MALYRICS PART II

dzhot: Tiny bubbles in Hawaii...
brij:Tiny bubbles in the sand..
real thng: Tiny bubbles in the WINE make me feel happy, make me feel fine.

cindz:anong lyrics nung frosty the snowman?
brij:frosty the snowman was a jolly happy...snow.

haha..iba pa din ung kay ate cha e..
Ate Cha:How high does the sicapompom?
real thng:How high does the sycamore grow?

mike!astig ka tlga..grabe.track and fielder pala a..asteeg.
wla lng..im morphing into a jologatious self agen..
enuf..

i dont care wat hapens..
im happy..really..

does it spell "flirt"to you?

2005-01-31T10:08:00.000+08:00

Cancer - Your Love Profile

Your positive traits:

You're intuitive enough to know what's going wrong in a relationship early on

A total sweetheart - you're often the most caring person anyone knows

You are a generous and devoted parter to whoever you fall in love with

Your negative traits:

Insecurity - you tend to need a huge amount of comforting from your partner

You tend to be overly sensitive and easily hurt, which make loving you difficult

It's difficult to predict your moods. One minute you're up - the next you're down.

Your ideal partner:

Someone equally sensitive, who wants to take time to get to know you deeply

Dreams of an everlasting love - complete with marriage and a family

Loves to take care of you. Being a good cook and masseuse doesn't hurt!

Your dating style:

Slow. You enjoy dates that last all day, with plenty of time to talk and get to know one another.

Your seduction style:

Quite tender and loving, once you are comfortable in your relationship.

Coy. You tend to play it cool to drive your lover wild.

Orally talented - you're known as the best kisser in the zodiac.

Tips for the future:

Be a little less sensitive. Not every little mistake should hurt you.

Spend time away from your partner every so often - independence is a good thing.

Find ways to take care of yourself. You'll be happier if you put yourself first.

Best place to meet someone online:

eHarmony - you'll be able to take the time to get to know each potential match well

Best color to attract mate: Aqua

Best day for a date: Wednesday

Get your free love profile at Blogthings.

screw mandrake..

2005-01-31T09:38:00.000+08:00

so im here now at dlrc, attempting to do my fcuking mp1. and im kinda naiirita kasi mandrake sha wen dapat linux red hat sha or knoppix. isa pa tong knoppix andaming kaartehan..anyway, nag-gegerman nanaman ako..

eun,loserness pa ba ako?haha..oo naman kelan ba hindi?nyahaha..pero ayos lng.im getting by.hehe..hay,ano ba?eun, nag-reco kami nung saturday night. grabe, ang kakaantok pero masaya kasi super kulit ng mga dormates ko.

c ate kat:dinrowingan ako ng mga kung anu-ano sa katawan.
c dzhot: aba, tlgang makulit ion.
c sheila: tama bang sumigaw ng "amoy pekpek dito" habang naglelecture about prayer.
c ann:go,guitarist. future spinola na din ian.

hay, tagal ng upcat results. gusto ko ng makita kung makakapasa,err, kung cno mga makakapasa.
1 pa clas ko..
tanginang shet.

scrap it out

2005-01-28T21:09:00.000+08:00

im bitter again..
BITTER..

tama na..
karma..cease tormenting me..

i know iv been a badgirl
and im paying for it..

please..let me chuba in peace..

karmic.

2005-01-28T20:00:00.000+08:00

bat nga ba nalalaman lang nating importante ang isang tao pag wala na siya? ngayon, hinahanap-hanap mo at napapanaginipan ang taong kulang na lang isampal mo sa mukha niyang ayaw mo sa kanya, na hindi siya iyong tipong mamahalin mo. tiniis niya lahat iyon..lahat-lahat. ayun ka, hanap ng hanap ng magmamahal sa iyo kung kailan andoon siya sa harap mo,tutuklawin ka na. pero dahil ayaw mo, hindi mo nakita.

tapos, ngayon,napagtanto mong siya pala ang hinahanap mo. nagsayang ka ng panahon kakahanap. sinaktan mo pa ang sarili ng paulit-ulit. lagi kang napapamura at gustong-gusto mo nang balikan siya. ang diyahe lang, masaya na siya..

sa piling ng iba..
ganyan talaga ang lupit ng karma..

Guwapo ni rico

2005-01-26T16:01:00.000+08:00

I so make bawi na every mean thing iv said about Rico Blanco coz damn,is he so hot.haha.. saya ng concert. Kahit mag-isa lang..reunion with the chubas..si tin lang ata hindi ko nakita don..o welz..

C cinco nakita ko, though I missd the part na kumanta sha..nagtantrums nga ko ng onte kasi di ko napanood. Der was trish den..she looked good..as in super,super good na bumaligtad ung sikmura ko sa kaba. Cheer,well..got taller a few inches, I think. Nowee, thinner than ever.(pataba ka na kasi..)

Hay, im so full of remorse..i so feel like a loser..and everybody knows why.lalo na si jean..well, I guess my bad and hasty decisions are coming back to haunt me and are waving a “loser” slogan in my face. I could have been the one there.kahit anong sabi ko sa sarili kong “im better”.duh! sino bang girlfriend?ako ba? Haha..pero, sige, one step at a time. I just don’t know if it’s one step towards or one step away. I wanna stay away pero super ang disarming niya tlga.

Putang ina,rewind naman natin fourth year o..
Promise, I’ll make things right..
Promise..